Find Senior Care (City or Zip)
Join Now Log In
P
PollyN Asked July 2021

Is it normal for my mom to seem to know me (my name) but not recognize me as her daughter?

The other day she was looking at old photographs and pointed out a picture of she and my dad with my brother and I when we were little. She said, “look at my kids”. When I asked her who her kids were she said my brother’s name but not mine. I asked if she knew that it was me; she just had a blank stare. She calls me by my name or honey (which she doesn’t say to anyone else). She hardly knows anyone’s name anymore, but always remembers mine. I told her if I wasn’t her daughter, she would not be living with me.

Cashew Sep 2021
My Mom has thanked me for taking care of her and she thinks it would be a great idea to have my Mom move in so I can take care of both of them .... OK.
Sometimes she knows I'm her daughter. Other times, she knows that I'm the nice lady who takes care of her.
Always she knows that she's loved, safe, and cared for

Maple3044 Jul 2021
My hubby alternately thinks I'm his high school girlfriend, the kitchen girl, the upstairs girl. When asked directly, he knows my name but doesn't believe we are married. He thanks me everyday for helping him get dressed or fixing a meal, like he does his caregiver. It's my new reality and I am okay with it. Sad but okay.

ADVERTISEMENT


cwillie Jul 2021
Yes, very common. I used to quiz my mom trying to see if there was some kind of pattern to the blank spots in her memory until I realized it was not really healthy for me and cruel for her. My mom might tell people I was her daughter "C" but she also said she didn't think she had ever been married or had any children.

JoAnn29 Jul 2021
Your Mom may know the child but not the adult. I really think Mom thought I was her mother.

When my Dad was dying my daughter was getting him ready for bed. He was not helpful and when she said "PopPop it's Renee" He said "No u aren't, she is a little girl". Another time he calked for her and when she went he motioned like he was handing her something. I told her to take it. She acted like she was taking it and thanked him. We realized later hevwas handing her a dollar bill like he used to when she was little.
PollyN Jul 2021
Yes! That ‘s what I was thinking. The Rolex are reversed and sometimes I think she does see me as a mother to her.
earlybird Jul 2021
It is normal. My mother has forgotten my name on occasion and sometimes thinks I am her mother. I just try to reorient her and not make a big deal about it.

MJ1929 Jul 2021
Very normal. My mother knows me by name and that I'm someone who cares about her, but she also thinks she's in high school, so she can't possibly have any kids yet. The link between her, my dad (completely forgotten after 66 years of marriage), and me is lost to her. She doesn't even question that I'm the only person who calls her Mom, but she doesn't make the connection.

It's OK now -- I take what I can get these days.

97yroldmom Jul 2021
Yes. I have an aunt with Parkinson’s who was nonverbal for a good while. Her daughter called to tell me that her mom was talking. I went to see her and she said
Daughter, she sounds just like 97. Her daughter said “Mom, that IS 97”
Aunt looked at me like …”I don’t think so”
Another time a good friend was on hospice with Dementia. I joined another friend to visit with her for a few days. We had a lovely visit. Talked of days gone by. She was very quiet. Smiled and hugged but mostly nonverbal. When we said goodbye to her, I asked if she knew who I was. She shook her head apologetically and smiled.
I said “that’s okay. I’m 97” she turned her head and looked at a photo of the three of us when we were all much younger. I said, “I know. I wouldn’t recognize me either.”
It’s very bitter sweet. I think In a bit it helps us understand that our friend is mostly gone. Big Hugs

JennaRose Jul 2021
Yes it's perfectly normal. My Mom suffers from vascular dementia and she thinks I'm her sister some of the time as well as asking me questions such as "when we grew up do you remember the trolley cars?"

I don't correct her because she can't help it. People who suffer from alzheimer's / dementia have brains that are broken.

I let my Mom know that I love taking care of her (no matter who she thinks I am) and that I will always be there for her. That makes her happy as it comforts her and I don't confront or correct her (which would make her feel worse).

Hope this helps a bit,
Jenna

ADVERTISEMENT

Ask a Question

Subscribe to
Our Newsletter