My husband resists changing his pants. Any ideas on what to do?

My father just recently moved in with me, after being emotionally abused for years, and I am trying to let him make decisions, but he can be very stubborn. He refuses to change his diaper when he gets ready for bed, stating that it is not full, which it isn't. He wakes himself up every 2 hours during the night to go to the restroom. There are times that he does still wet the bed, beyond just the pad, so I change everything. I don't make a big deal out of it, because I want his time with us to be pleasant.

I don't want him to feel like he is being told what to do, BUT, I want him to be dry when he wakes up. Any suggestions?????

The Depend people make a product called Guards. It is a thick, really thick, pad that fits in the regular underwear, briefs, not boxers. You could try using those at night.

I think you have to be gentle as with my case when became incontinent.My wife toke charge with loving care but also no but' about what i wear now.

Since the pee is running off the bed I assume you are using a waterproof mattress cover, you might try putting an absorbent pad below him in lieu of the brief or pullup (I'm told that this is what they often do in the hospital now). There are disposable or washable ones.

It sounds like it's time to throw away his "daytime" underwear, which will leave him with only his "nighttime" ones. That way he won't have a choice, but to put on his Depends for all day use. Just make sure that you're calling them his underwear and not diapers as that can be humiliating for some. You can also buy adult onesies to put on over, so he can't rip them off.
If that doesn't work it might be time for him to start using a condom catheter, or some other type of catheter. There are also many medications that help with incontinence, along with Botox that can be put in his bladder to help as well. You can talk to his urologist about the different options.
It's hard. I know. I went through this with my husband. He ended up having to get a supra pubic catheter(a permanent one).
And of course if it just gets to be too much, you will have no choice but to place him in the appropriate facility. Best wishes.

Overall, if you can’t manage his care then you may need help, either at home or placement in a facility.

Another alternative is to contact his doctor and ask if meds to calm his anxiety may help him to relax.

Hmm. Sorry, many questions coming...

Does he co-operate to put his normal daytime underwear on? Lift feet etc?

Is he sitting down to do this & just stand at the end?

Would disguising pull-ups inside a pair of normal underwear work? Then place pajama bottoms over the top?

This sounds so heart-wrenching! I'm so sorry for your situation! I humbly agree with others - it IS time for assisted living, at least for a while. You need a break.

It may be time for assisted living.