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Worrydaughter4 Asked March 2021

We placed our dad into memory care and hates 2 of us (guardians) out of 4. Should the ones he hates visit or call him? He gets very angry.

MJ1929 Mar 2021
Don't underestimate the value of a letter. Write to him weekly, send cards, and check personally a bit less frequently until he adjusts.

Always reaffirm your love for him, though. He's scared, and he needs to know his anger won't destroy your love for him.
Worrydaughter4 Mar 2021
My Sister and I can no longer call him Dad or say I love you to him. When he’s mad he’s hard to care for at the memory care and to anyone else who sees him or calls. Just our name’s sets him off.
JoAnn29 Mar 2021
If it angers him, then I may not visit often. When I do, if he gets angry, leave. It will always be your fault that he is there. He cannot be reasoned with. He does not see himself the way you do. He may adjust, he may not. As the desease progresses, he maybe more likely to except the MC as home. Yes, never take him to visit his home.
Worrydaughter4 Mar 2021
Even the Doctor said he’s one of few that will take a long time to get use to living there. It all sucks! Just to hear our names he gets angry.

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Grandma1954 Mar 2021
He does not "hate" you he hates his situation.
Help him adjust as best you can. Visit when you can and if it is allowed bring him a treat. If you can take him for a drive or a walk that would be nice but do not bring him home to anyone's home that he is familiar with.
He will adjust.
Just keep telling him that you love him.
Worrydaughter4 Mar 2021
The Doctor suggested that in the beginning not to take him out cuz he might not come back. Just to hear our names sets him off.

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