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bpettibone52 Asked February 2021

How do I manage my duties as a caregiver for my 90 year old father when I have Parkinson's disease?

I live with my elderly father and he tries to help around the house but most of the work falls on my shoulders. I have Parkinson's disease and it exhausts me to take care of him and our 4 cats.

Beatty Mar 2021
By redefining your *duties*.

Think about them. List them. Decide what you can do. What Dad is able to do. What needs to be outsourced. Start researching what services are available to you both. Your list may include housecleaning, grocery & pharmacy delivery, meal delivery service some days, taxi or uber. Maybe even a daycare for Dad a day or two a week?

pamzimmrrt Mar 2021
You say you live with your father.. can the two of you afford some in home help and be able to stay in his home? Normally I would say can "he " afford it, but both of you seem to need some help, and you are living in his house so maybe you could pitch in together? You don;t say he has any issues except his age, and if he goes into a care home you may have to sell his home and then where would you be? what happens if "they " decide he is fine to live alone with some help but you need more care? I hope you are able to get some services with your PD ?

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Mares1155 Mar 2021
I’m sorry to hear you’re struggling. You are an amazing child to help support your dad. Your dad is equally amazing for trying to help. You and your dad both need help, but others need to be the care givers.

Have you thought about Assistant Living for your dad? Would he be willing to consider moving to AL? Have you researched any AL facilities? If not, I’d suggest using A Place for Mom referral service. My husband and I used it for my FIL. They were wonderful and will work with you to find a place within your budget.

My FIL has Parkinson’s. It’s a nasty, evil, and devastating disease. Right now, what’s important is focusing on your health. When were you diagnose? If you’re new to Parkinson’s or just need advice/help/support reached out to Parkinson’s Foundation. Visit www.parkinson.org or Call the Parkinson's Foundation Helpline 1.800.4PD.INFO (1-800-473-4636).

Next, are the the cats. My husband and I took in my FIL two Siberian cats. (I swore up and down I would never love or even like them. I said I would never be a cat person. Guess who’s a cat person now?). As painful as it is you need to strongly consider re-homing your fur babies. It is for the best for all of you. There are plenty of humane societies who will work with you to find their next forever home.

Lastly, my heart goes out to your dad and you. You are both very amazing and strong people. But even strong people need help. You’re in my thoughts and prayers. I wish you the best of luck. :)

funkygrandma59 Feb 2021
You manage your "duties as a caregiver", by looking for the best(that he can afford) and appropriate facility to have him placed in. Either that or he needs to spend his money on hiring full-time help for him in the home. Those are the only options. You are in no position to have to care for your father. You need to be taking care of yourself. If you don't, you will be in the statistics where the caregiver dies before the one being cared for. Is that what you want? Something for you to ponder.

Countrymouse Feb 2021
When were you diagnosed with Parkinson's?

Never mind your father and the cats for a moment. What support do you have for yourself?

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