What can I do to help my sister who it seems has memory lapse and hallucinations? Her spouse has hallucinations and is cruel to her.

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POAneglect Asked February 2021

What can I do to help my sister who it seems has memory lapse and hallucinations? Her spouse has hallucinations and is cruel to her.

They live in a residential area in Ontario, Canada, and have no friends. Family of my sister is discouraged from helping because of false accusations of theft and coming in at night. They even changed the locks on the house thus making it hard for them to escape if there is a fire.
The husband calls the police often to complain to my sister that she is giving away her money.
My sister called the police recently reporting physical abuse.
I live in another province but my brother lives about 2 hours away.

We had POA in 2003 for my sister but I am not sure if it is still valid. Both of them.

How can we help before there is a disaster?

Abusive Relationship Elder Abuse Hallucinations

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score 2 · Answer 1

POAneglect, as soon as possible, both need to be checked for an Urinary Tract Infection, as such an infection has been known to cause hallucinations, thinking people are stealing from them and mimic dementia.

At least with the test, one can find out if the cause was an infection or something more serious such a dementia.

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score 1 · Answer 2

https://www.ontario.ca/page/information-about-elder-abuse

There will be information at the link above.

Do you or your brother know who their family doctor is? If yes, send a letter outlining your concerns to them. Also send a certified copy of the Heathcare Representative document.

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score 1 · Answer 3

Read the POA. A general POA has an expiration date, a Durable POA does not. Most of them are very clear on this, so read it thoroughly.

What happened when the police were called for domestic violence? I would find out from the police what is going on with that and ask them how you can get these 2 very vulnerable people help.

This situation is so difficult from afar. Dementia makes things up and you just don't know what the reality is unless you see it, so getting the authorities involved is really the only way to get a good assessment of the reality.

I am so sorry that your family is going through this. It is so hard for everyone involved. I pray that the local police can direct you to the right resources.

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score 1 · Answer 4

If you have Adult Protection Services in Canada you need to ask them to do a "well visit". That you feel they are vulnerable. I am surprised the police have done nothing if they have gotten several calls.

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score 2 · Answer 5

How old is this couple?

Does your sister have dementia? Her husband?

Maybe some more details on the health issues at hand will be helpful to posters with suggestions.

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