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Goblue Asked February 2021

Can I demand more funds from estate for caregiving?

My wife’s step father had a brain aneurysm 25 years ago and cannot be left alone. My mother in laws’s sole job is caring for him but is now hospitalized and looking at a long recovery from surgery. We are taking him in to care for him for the next few months. He has an estate set up by his now deceased sister that gives him money each month. My wife and I both work. The money from the estate does not cover the needed amount for an in home caregiver even though we think there is money in the estate to do so. Neither one of us can take time off. For now my sister in law is driving 4 hours to cover the days that we cannot be home which is not going to be sustainable. We are being met with resistance from the estate attorney for more funds to have a full time caregiver. I know nothing about estates. How do I go about getting more funds from the estate?

worriedinCali Feb 2021
So your MIL is moving in too? So you will be taking care of both inlaws plus your own small children? Have you thought this through? Your lives are about to be taken over by the needs of 2 elders who cannot care for themselves. Unless you can get full time caregivers, your in-laws will come first and your children last. You said your MIL is a caring person and would do the same if the roles were reversed—but think about the reverse. Taking care of young children is much easier than taking care of bedridden elderly adults. Your heart is in the right place but I don’t think you know what you are getting in to here. Whatever you end up doing, at the very least do not move your FIL in to your home without money upfront and a written contract that stipulates how much he/the trust will pay you every month.

Stacy0122 Feb 2021
Oh, no, no no!!!!!

You do not need quotes for a nurse. Medicare will pay for 8 weeks. And do not get POA, then your screwed here.

Michigan is different.
AlvaDeer Feb 2021
Reading back the responses I think this is all sounding a bit unrealistic. Not thought out. First of all, in home care is VERY expensive. Now I see you will have two elders who will become only more and more ill and impaired. While you have children who need you and jobs. I don't think that this is at all well thought out, but I think it appears this may be something you are going to find out on your own. If the MIL is POA for the father then it is she who decides what the estate pays if she is competent. Not the estate. The FIL cannot give POA at this point to anyone but the Mom. She cannot transfer it to anyone but must keep it. FIL is likely no longer mentally competent thus cannot change anything.
I think that you should see an elder law attorney. There is too much here unknown if you are planning to take on the care of two elders who will get more and more ill, while you have children and jobs. Please do see a Lawyer. I think those of us here have just ended up in a pile of confusion over exactly what is happening here, and exactly what assets there are, and exactly who is in charge of them. Along with Cali I am extremely worried for your children. When you move in this manner to make huge moves like moving elders in it is very very difficult to undo. At the very least you need a plan of care, who cares for whom and how much they are paid; these contracts need to be in black and white and they need to have meticulous record keeping ongoing.
I wish you luck.

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Stacy0122 Feb 2021
What does the will say about distributions? Start there. You can petition a court for removal of the estate attorney or increased distributions.

Anyway, there is a place called Lakeshore Legal Services throughout Michigan. They do quite a bit of pro bono elder law, consultations and you can should give them a call.
AlvaDeer Feb 2021
I think no will yet, Stacy because this gentleman is alive. Apparently someone is in charge of his estate as it stands. Possibly a Trust? OP hasn't returned, but don't think OP has any powers in caring, no POA or conservatorship, so I am not certain they should take on this gentleman's care. Or will be able to.
MJ1929 Feb 2021
"Step-father." Why isn't his family handling his care?
Goblue Feb 2021
There is no one left from his family.
Geaton777 Feb 2021
Does the Trustee of the Trust know just how much facility care would cost every month? If he needs 24/7 care my medically trained staff it may be a 6-digit number. Lowest-level agency caregivers make about $22 p/hr (just so you can know what your contribution is worth). Maybe if the Trustee of Trust knew some facts they'd be more amenable to increasing the payments. I'd make my case by shopping around local facilities and bring those prices to the table when negotiating a higher amount.

What is going to happen when eventually your MIL needs hands-on care too... are you intending to take her in as well? Please think this through very carefully.
Goblue Feb 2021
MIL will be moving in then to. We are setting up a nurse that comes over to check on her. Thank you for the reply. I will be getting quotes immediately.
worriedinCali Feb 2021
Why are you taking him in? He needs to go to a care facility if there isn’t enough money to hire help. You can’t force the estate (I think you mean “trust” to do anything without a legal battle. Instead of wasting money on legal fees, you need to refuse to take your FIL in unless he is given enough money to pay for his care.
Goblue Feb 2021
Trust. Yes. We agreed to take him in because there is no one else left from his family and my MIL is a very caring person and I know if the roles were reversed she would do the same for me. She has dedicated her life to her husbands care since his aneurism and we told her that we would help out until she gets better which could take a few months. However, we have two young children and I refuse for them to go without or miss anything because we have to care for him. I work 12 hour shifts which gives me more days off but it is a dangerous and high stress environment so my days off are for decompression. I cannot be stuck in the house for weeks on end.
AlvaDeer Feb 2021
Who has POA? Who is Trustee of Trust?
What does the Attorney suggest as the reason that the "Estate" will not pay for his care? What does the Attorney suggest be done with Dad; do they want him to be put into care?
Generally it is the POA who decides what care and where given if Dad cannot act in his own behalf. I am not understanding this "division" between decider on Dad's care and decider on whether or not the Estate will pay for it.
Goblue Feb 2021
My mother in law is POA. We are working on getting my wife POA for her. I’m not sure how if that will give my wife POA for him then to.

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