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My wife’s step father had a brain aneurysm 25 years ago and cannot be left alone. My mother in laws’s sole job is caring for him but is now hospitalized and looking at a long recovery from surgery. We are taking him in to care for him for the next few months. He has an estate set up by his now deceased sister that gives him money each month. My wife and I both work. The money from the estate does not cover the needed amount for an in home caregiver even though we think there is money in the estate to do so. Neither one of us can take time off. For now my sister in law is driving 4 hours to cover the days that we cannot be home which is not going to be sustainable. We are being met with resistance from the estate attorney for more funds to have a full time caregiver. I know nothing about estates. How do I go about getting more funds from the estate?

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So your MIL is moving in too? So you will be taking care of both inlaws plus your own small children? Have you thought this through? Your lives are about to be taken over by the needs of 2 elders who cannot care for themselves. Unless you can get full time caregivers, your in-laws will come first and your children last. You said your MIL is a caring person and would do the same if the roles were reversed—but think about the reverse. Taking care of young children is much easier than taking care of bedridden elderly adults. Your heart is in the right place but I don’t think you know what you are getting in to here. Whatever you end up doing, at the very least do not move your FIL in to your home without money upfront and a written contract that stipulates how much he/the trust will pay you every month.
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"Step-father." Why isn't his family handling his care?
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Goblue Feb 2021
There is no one left from his family.
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Does the Trustee of the Trust know just how much facility care would cost every month? If he needs 24/7 care my medically trained staff it may be a 6-digit number. Lowest-level agency caregivers make about $22 p/hr (just so you can know what your contribution is worth). Maybe if the Trustee of Trust knew some facts they'd be more amenable to increasing the payments. I'd make my case by shopping around local facilities and bring those prices to the table when negotiating a higher amount. What is going to happen when eventually your MIL needs hands-on care too... are you intending to take her in as well? Please think this through very carefully.
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Goblue Feb 2021
MIL will be moving in then to. We are setting up a nurse that comes over to check on her. Thank you for the reply. I will be getting quotes immediately.
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Why are you taking him in? He needs to go to a care facility if there isn’t enough money to hire help. You can’t force the estate (I think you mean “trust” to do anything without a legal battle. Instead of wasting money on legal fees, you need to refuse to take your FIL in unless he is given enough money to pay for his care.
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Goblue Feb 2021
Trust. Yes. We agreed to take him in because there is no one else left from his family and my MIL is a very caring person and I know if the roles were reversed she would do the same for me. She has dedicated her life to her husbands care since his aneurism and we told her that we would help out until she gets better which could take a few months. However, we have two young children and I refuse for them to go without or miss anything because we have to care for him. I work 12 hour shifts which gives me more days off but it is a dangerous and high stress environment so my days off are for decompression. I cannot be stuck in the house for weeks on end.
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Who has POA? Who is Trustee of Trust?
What does the Attorney suggest as the reason that the "Estate" will not pay for his care? What does the Attorney suggest be done with Dad; do they want him to be put into care?
Generally it is the POA who decides what care and where given if Dad cannot act in his own behalf. I am not understanding this "division" between decider on Dad's care and decider on whether or not the Estate will pay for it.
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Goblue Feb 2021
My mother in law is POA. We are working on getting my wife POA for her. I’m not sure how if that will give my wife POA for him then to.
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