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VTrombley62 Asked January 2021

Mom has dementia. Before this, Mom was bi polar. She had incidents of rage and was hospitalized for it. Should I get an eldercare attorney?

She has also been hospitalized during the beginning of her dementia for hitting Dad and hiding a gun and bullets and threatening to kill him. We found the gun and bullets during that hospitalization. And she never went to the psychiatrist that was recommended to her. Dad protects her. He has Catholic guilt from cheating on her over 40 years ago. My question is, I have medical POA on both of them and doctors that will declare, if Dad goes first, that she cannot make her own decisions. The only thing they own is a mobile home on rented land. Should I engage an eldercare attorney now? I will not be able to care for Mom if Dad goes first. So I need to make sure I have a clear plan.

97yroldmom Jan 2021
Here is a link for the Area Agency of Aging for your county.
You will find various resources here that night prove helpful in the future.
Your parents can be assessed for which services they might qualify for.

https://www.capcog.org/divisions/area-agency-on-aging/

VTrombley62 Jan 2021
I for sure do not want guardianship.  I want a clear path of how to get her into a nursing home.  And how to sell her mobile home and possessions.  They are meager.  I guess I should pay for a few hours of legal advice now while they are both alive.  I live in Texas and will seek one out.

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AlvaDeer Jan 2021
Right now your father is in charge, and as I understand it he has no intention of leaving, nor any intention of placing her in care? If that is so, there is nothing you can do. I would assist him in removing any objects that can be used to harm him, or for self harm. Guns given away (police will accept if you don't wish to take ownership and registration, or keep them locked away for Dad). Knives out of reach. Sharp tools out of reach. Have a discussion with Dad, which I would imagine has been done. Whether it is the Dementia or the BiPolar at work, mom needs close tough with neuro-psyc so medications can be given to calm her.
The question of a Lawyer will come to the fore when you need to seek conservatorship or guardianship to place Mom after Dad passes should he pass first, and Mom still not be placed. Meanwhile begin to find out how best to seek guardianship in your own state. Another thread on the Forum has several opinions on how to do that, And that is if you WANT to seek guardianship. For myself I would NOT. I would not want to have guardianship and be responsible for this person the rest of their natural life, so I would allow for State guardianship and placement.
If you choose to you surely could request and pay for an hour of time to see if there are any pointers you can have now from a Lawyer.
What a sad situation. I am so sorry for it. I wish you so much luck.

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