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BAMinOH Asked October 2020

Mom’s 100th Birthday during Covid, any advice?

My Mom turns 100 at the end of December and family & friends are asking what my “celebration” plans are. She lives with me and I have done everything possible during this pandemic to keep her safe and well. Her health and mind are excellent, but I am against having a full blown “celebration”. Even a drive-by is going to be difficult because of the location of our condo and access to a window where she can see and be seen. Not to mention the possibility of snow. I’m getting pushback from family and it’s beginning to add stress to an already stressful situation, as I am her full time caregiver.
I know you guys will give me some sound advice.

JoAnn29 Oct 2020
Just remind them we are in a pandemic and as this point you can not plan anything. You feel bad about it but Moms safety is important.

Do a card thing. Tell everyone to send a card wishing Mom happy 100th. If she has a Church, inform them. Anyone who knows Mom. We did this for a classmate whose father turned 100 and had moved out of State. He was so happy to receive cards from kids he knew 50 yrs ago.

Playadelcarmen2 Nov 2020
My dad wanted to hit 80 and he did in June this year. We had family and friends over. It was summer and out side. He passed away in August. We knew his days were numbered and nothing would have stopped me from celebrating his birthday with him. I honestly didn't know if he would make 80 and his Drs did not think he would. So we chose to celebrate life. I understand that it's a tough decision and I think I would leave it up to her. In her 100 years she's seen a lot worse than what we're going thru now. Let her decide. Good luck and Happy Birthday to her!!

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lealonnie1 Nov 2020
Listen, my DH just had triple bypass open heart surgery & his DD is arguing with me that she wants to drive 500 miles to come here and 'help take care of him.' I'm like, are you freakin' KIDDING me or what? Nope, she's not kidding. She doesn't take into consideration we're going into lockdown mode AGAIN any day now since our covid cases are growing larger daily & taxing the healthcare system. It nearly kills me to go visit him in the hospital due to the covid patients there and I stayed OUT of the ICU for that very reason. If I catch it and bring it home to him, and he starts coughing or gets sick, boy howdy, all h*ll will break loose.

So many people have NO COMMON SENSE at all in their God given brains these days. Push back or no push back, the answer to your 'well meaning' relatives is NO. NO is a complete sentence. If they don't like it, they can join my step daughter in LUMPING IT.

Sorry not sorry, but your mother didn't live to be 100 to die of some stupid virus brought in to your condo by some well meaning partyer. Tell them all you'll bake her a cake, put 100 candles on it and a party hat on her head, get noisemakers for both of you, and have your DH film it. You'll post it on FB for their viewing enjoyment.

The End.

Happy 100th to your mom!

MargaretMcKen Nov 2020
Very elderly people are often overwhelmed by too many visitors at once. They can’t hear in the noise, they get confused, and they tire very quickly. Do her a favour and keep it very very small. Decorate the room so it looks fantastic – balloons make a big impact. A lot of candles help, even just massed on a table. Cards on every level surface. Take photos to talk about afterwards with her. Take a photo of her looking at a card from each pushy family member, to talk about with them!

If there is someone younger in the family who can do it, get them to collect up videos of each family member saying happy birthday, slowly and clearly, and then splice them together in a form that can play on the television, big enough for her to see. She will probably enjoy seeing it repeated very day, more than she would have enjoyed it in person.

Don’t let other people guilt you into doing something that she quite probably won’t enjoy, and that would risk her health and her life.
cwillie Nov 2020
What a good idea! The daughter of a friend put together a video tribute for her milestone birthday this year (there was going to be a big party but... covid). If techno dense person like me could upload a happy birthday greeting then anyone can!
JoAnn29 Nov 2020
Isn't there something you can get a card from the President wishing you a happy 100.
agingmother4343 Nov 2020
Yes! President of the US are supposed to send out a birthday card to all US citizens.
BarbBrooklyn Oct 2020
You are in Ohio, right?

Having an indoor gathering of a large number if people is unsafe at this time.

Please tell the thoughtless relatives to arrange a Facetime or Zoom call on mom's birthday.

JennaRose Oct 2020
If you can download Zoom on your device (whatever device you may have) and some of your Mom's friends children have a device that can use Zoom that would be the best thing as well as having all of her friends send her cards.

I did a "virtual" party with a friend and we used Zoom (I used my Ipad) and it worked out great.

Happy 100th Birthday to your Mom!
Jenna

GardenArtist Oct 2020
I'd opt for something by which Mom can be reminded after the big day celebration is over.   And I'm still partial to cards; they're proof of remembrance, that can be viewed over and over again.

What I might do is open up a few cards on her birthday, a few more another day, and string it out so that it's something to look forward to over a period of time.   You might ask people to call on that basis as well.  Sometimes the attention on the day of the birthday is so much that succeeding days are real let downs.

You can also get one of the card boards, about 2' x 3', on which cards can be pinned.   My cousin bought one for my father during one of his hospitalizations for a broken hip.  Cards were added to it as people came in, and eventually it became full.  

We took it home; Dad kept it in the living room where he could view the cards while sitting in his favorite chair.  They reminded him of an unpleasant medical adventure made much more positive by the support of family and friends.  

Those cards are going into a scrapbook which I'll be creating of his life.

AnnReid Nov 2020
“You’re getting “pushback from family”???

Let whoever thinks she should have a public Gala, plan it and videotape it, then send it to you and Mom while you both stay SAFE at HOME.

You are doing your best to protect her. Don’t be bullied by nonsense into doing something that NOBODY guarantee to be SAFE.

Do you think they might consider a Showering of Birthday Wishes MAILED to her, a 3 or 4 piece combo playing Happy Birthday and some of her favorites on your lawn or driveway, a cookie distribution to family members gathered outside, a Fly By with a Happy Birthday Banner??

Your family members apparently don’t realize that people who have reached the wonderful age of 100 should by doing so be allowed to take a SAFE shot at going for 101!

God Bless Her, AND YOU, and keep up the good work with your door locked!

Frances73 Nov 2020
Can you set up a Zoom party? Get everyone to get small cakes, candles, decorations, etc. Send your Mom presents in advance so,you can quarantine them if you like. Then on the day they can sing Happy Birthday to her, eat cake, and watch her open the presents. The whole world is having to adapt so I would guess your friends and family will too.

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