Grandma says hurtful things then sleeps and forgets everything she said when she wakes up. Has any other caregiver experienced this?

Sounds like she gets upset because she is realizing that things with her are changing, and she can't stop them, and so takes it out on the one closest to her, which is you. I wouldn't take any of what she said personal. If things get too bad, you can always ask her if she would rather be in a facility, so she wouldn't have to deal with you? I bet things might change a bit then. Bless you for taking care of your grandmother.

Is it truly forgetting or denial?

My mother is the sweetest person alive and at times she will make a not so nice comment. My niece and I cried one day after a rude comment. She apologized and cried and still continued to apologized a dozen times after. She stuck her tongue out at me once I left the room a few days ago after telling her she was going to have a bath. my niece laughed and could not wait to tell me, but this behavior does not happen too often. I have tattle tails in my house. I am sure she does not remember it. I do not hold her accountable for I know it is the disease. My mother gives me the silent treatment at times too. Do not take it personally.

Dear Becky, don’t be upset when this happens. Many people cope with a lot worse! I think Grandma is really saying that things for her are ‘not nice like they used to be’ - she’s old, she can’t do things for herself, she’s not in control of what she wants.

Don’t feel hurt, just be glad that she doesn’t remember it. If she really meant it, she would remember only too well. Value the good times, just ski over the bad ones. Lots of love, Margaret