Sex has stopped happening about a year ago because yes it hurt. I’m almost 77!. However husband with Parkinson’s and dementia sits in the living room and strips naked and performs inappropriate behavior. I have to get up and leave the room as it upsets me to watch him. I can’t bring myself to manually assist as there is no longer any intimacy in the relationship. I feel guilty but can’t subject myself to something that makes me feel uncomfortable. This behavior of his also prevents getting anyone in the house to help for obvious reasons. This in just one of his bizarre behaviors. Others include the porn on the computer, etc. he’s on Nuplazid but doesn’t really help his impulses or obsessions.
It depends on whether you want to or not. If he is putting pressure on you to do something that hurts you or you don't want to do, tell him no. Forcing sexual contact on another is abuse. Look up the signs of domestic abuse. Some women don't even realize that what is happening to them is abuse.
Yep, something you need to discuss with your doctor. Yes, it becomes too much work. For you, can use a lubricant. We found the Meds are a little too expensive, $500 for ten pills. You lose the spontaneity. I tell my husband we can be teenagers again not ready to go "all the way".
Wow, you already have Jack below to help out; the two of you should send a few PM messages for advice. May I ask if just affection and cuddling is at all satisfying for hubby, or is that simple frustration? I think you and he need the advice of a doctor, and I wonder also if there are any Forums out there that are specific to this subject. The world seems so full of them and I know there are many Facebook sites for people with my own contender, breast cancer. Good advice perhaps from people who have "been there". Not certain what else I can recommend, and am sorry for all you are both going through with this.
Hi, I'm really not sure what you mean but I can relate somewhat to your situation. I could recommend things my wife & I have attempted, but I don't know if this forum is the appropriate place for descriptions. I'm fairly new here and am still learning the correct protocols. In short it would involve you doing less and for him to still feel gratification. I wish I could be of more help.
See my post to unitetogether “No More Sex Ever for Me???” on Sept 19.
I, too, had a radical prostetectomy. There are meds that might help, and implants are also available. Have him, and you, talk to his urologist. Unfortuneately, there are no meds to eliminate one's libido.
In your profile, you say that your husband suffers from Alzheimer's/dementia. If that's the case, his 'urges' can be attributed to something called Inappropriate Sexual Behavior or ISB which is common with dementia. He probably doesn't comprehend that he can no longer function sexually, thereby causing all this distress and frustration.There is no reason for you to be 'accommodating' to him when the act is painful for you to endure. Have a chat with his doctor to let him know what's going on and there are medications that can be prescribed for ISB.
In the meantime, tell him your shop is closed for repairs and that perhaps you can ease his frustrations manually (or something). My sympathies for what you're going through. But don't think you 'have to' do anything that causes you pain and discomfort, ok?
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I, too, had a radical prostetectomy. There are meds that might help, and implants are also available. Have him, and you, talk to his urologist. Unfortuneately, there are no meds to eliminate one's libido.
I hope the two of you can work it out.
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In the meantime, tell him your shop is closed for repairs and that perhaps you can ease his frustrations manually (or something). My sympathies for what you're going through. But don't think you 'have to' do anything that causes you pain and discomfort, ok?
Best of luck!!