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Mommabear3 Asked August 2020

Mom's caregiver is my sister, who allowed her daughter & baby to move in, thus now not giving my mom proper care. How do we kick them out?

Mom was never asked if they could even move in plus is not getting her daily needs met. It's a mess. We need whatever advice, any and all ASAP please and thank you.

Mommabear3 Aug 2020
Hello group I was original poster to this ,, I didn’t know I had the space avail to go into my moms situation

1 my has had lung issues for a long time 3 years ago she choked on water that ended up her being hospitalized normally mom bounces right back , unfortunately this isn’t the case , she’s unable to manage caring for herself alone anymore driving cooking 24/7 oxygen my sister who has been living with my mom , was herself I’ll many years ago , a recovering drug addict for many years ended up at that time with her own health scare , and my mom , being a mom took her in cause she was homeless , helped her took her to whatever do it where ever the doctor was ,, she even believe my sister may have cancer and not survive
jump forward sister is ok just has thyroid issues isn’t 100%, but no cancer and she is still at my moms ,
3 years ago mom choked on water as I wrote at beginning
since my sister was here it was just assumed she would be moms caregiver , we all live a distance and have families and jobs , so it’s wasn’t a no brainer she’d take care of mom

well with Covid situation and no one could visit mom for fear she’d get the Covid , all stayed away visored at window , me I live on the pacific west coast , moms in Michigan ,
mom was never asked by sister if her daughter and her daughter young child could move in , this all happened during Covid quarantine, now this young child my sister dotes in constantly , which is understandable, however it’s now a situation where my moms been left in her bedroom , no contact with anyone my sister does not sit and talk with her she brings her her food basically at this point doing the absolute bare minimum, my mom needs a caregiver to bathe her regularly , make sure she’s moving taking her meds and doing breathing treatments daily , this is not happening and got worse over Covid quarantine

my mom was comparing of pain bad pain my sister checked the area and said it’s hemmroids and started mom on tucks to ease pain
now sister is not trained she’s been helping mom for 3 years moms thankfully not been hospitalized since 3 years when all this first happened


this last week we checked moms area of pain cause she’s still in bad pain ,, we discovered BED SORES
sister-caregiver claims she looked but can’t see all that we’ll without her glasses , never put them on to recheck
and with this discovery now says that it’s from mom not cleaning herself good enough

now mom has never ever had bed sores , if her case of not cleaning herself good after using restroom well she would have had bed sores in and off for 3 years

I know people can’t just be kicked out
we believe she’s been verbally abused , physically god I hope not I do know my sister is a very unhappy person and ignores my moms calls at night when my mom needs her , usually it’s because baby is sleeping , the babies mother works part time has a bf not baby father , and her fb is a rapper at a club , so all my moms children not seeing her during Covid all the while people were coming in and out of my moms home ,,

my mom is on a fixed income she can’t afford to support 3 extra people and shouldn’t be forced to
that’s why my post was short and needing help

my mom is currently in the hospital , she has bed sores and something on her lungs not pneumonia,, she’s 74 pounds
I came to town to visit her for her bday which was 8/21
i arrived early following Monday morning to surprise I her , she sleeps later cause she doesn’t sleep all night that night Sunday her pain was awful sister didn’t answer her phone nor my mothers yells for her
sister has takin on watching baby full time and giving mom the bare minimum and now the result is moms in hospital, has bed sores and no clue what’s going on with her Lungs , moms you as I type this the sister is giving her the baby a bath for the second time since Thursday evenness when mom was admitted to hospital

so who ever reads this this is Why I posted my pleas for advice any will help
AlvaDeer Aug 2020
Who has power of Attorney for your Mother? Does your mother have dementia.
Where did you arrive FROM. That is to say are you now in the area, but usually only Sister, who cares for Mom is there and no one else?
As a family member, with your mother now in care, you need to contact the Social Worker with questions. This is much too complicated and difficult a question for the forum. You mother may need placement, and she may need Adult Protective Services to assess the situation as it stands.
Please contact the hospital Social Worker at ONCE and tell her what you have told us. Bedsores can be deadly. They quickly cause necrotic tissue and eat flesh down to the bone. They can cause systemic infection and death.
Good luck. You don't really need our advice. You see what is happening. You need help of people in your Mom's area who can take charge of the situation for rehab, then for placement of your Mom in a safe environment.
Again, important to know if anyone here is POA over Mom. If not it is time for some guardianship to be applied for; social worker can help with that to get it started also.
Nothing any of us can do but guess at what is going on.
JoAnn29 Aug 2020
Yes, need more info. Why does Mom need a Caregiver? Does Mom have Dementia? Is Mom competent and able to give permission?

Is there a POA? If so, they can only step in when Mom is not competent. And who do you want to evict, the daughter and baby or sister too. You do understand that sister is doing you a big favor caring for Mom 24/7. If u evict just the daughter sister may not care for Mom. What is going on that bothers you. Can u talk to sister about it?

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gladimhere Aug 2020
Maybe mom allowed them to be there?
AlvaDeer Aug 2020
That's what I am thinking. When the Sister is unable to be there perhaps the daughter and her child ARE. Where caregiving is concerned, if they all get along well, the more the merrier, and Mom could be thrilled to have great grandbaby around!
worriedinCali Aug 2020
How long has she been there? You can’t just kick her out. And if she lives there, she has rights. You’ll have to evict her if she won’t leave willingly.

AlvaDeer Aug 2020
You say she is the caregiver, this sister. Who was the caregiver before she was there? Goes your mother need a caregiver? Who is the POA? What about her care of your mother is not good enough? What abuse are you seeing? What powers do you have to kick out someone from your mother's home? We need much more information here.

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