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robertsnursery Asked July 2020

Do I have to tell a parent they've been diagnosed with dementia?

It seems heartbreaking to tell them. But she's at the point other people are noticing the little things that say 'dementia'. I have to make some decisions for her as she's incapable now.


I feel like putting it out there will hurt. But it may make it easier for her to let me help her.


Should I wait and have her physician tell her?

Isthisrealyreal Jul 2020
Have the doctor do it.

My dad still tells people that I am an effing liar because I got caught in the trap of telling him to save the doctor the discomfort or whatever his cowardly hide was worried about. Had I known what the fallout is I would never have said a word.

polarbear Jul 2020
You mentioned she's incapable now. How incapable is she? Does she still possess enough brain function, cognizance, and good judgement? If so, then she must know so that she can plan for her eventuality and put her affairs in order. If she chooses not to do anything about her diagnose, then it's her choice.

If she is too far gone, then she might not remember that she has dementia after you tell her. It may just cause her pain at the moment you tell her. After that, she may just forget.

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sjplegacy Jul 2020
"Should I wait and have her physician tell her?" Who was she diagnosed by? If it was a dr., he/she should have told your mom. I find it immoral for a dr. to diagnose dementia and not tell the patient. Sadly, some drs don't have guts to tell because they're afraid of the families reaction in the office. They would rather put the onus on the family. No, you should not have to tell her.

JoAnn29 Jul 2020
No, her doctor should do it. Mom's neurologist sat right down in front of her, looked her in the eye and told her.

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