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T
trchen Asked June 2020

I am single and I have no family. Where I can find a caregiver?

Does county have organization to help single person with power of attorney , for medical and last stage of life and


How to prepare the proceeding the after death legal process including burial procedures

JoAnn29 Jun 2020
Yes, your County Office of Aging maybe able to help.

worriedinCali Jun 2020
No the counties in this state really don’t offer much in the way of this. There are non profits that do offer free legal services to senior citizens & they could probably help you to an extent, I don’t know that they would take on the role as your POA but they could prepare the document if you’ve got a friend who will take on the responsibility. They can assist with your end of life plans. I would by contacting the Fresno county alliance on aging.

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Megwin Jun 2020
I sure can identify with you on this one. I have been a caregiver my whole life. I am a nurse (no longer practicing).. Most of the caretaking was for a son and my husband. Many, many years I have lost of my own life - my own wishes and everything I ever dreamed of to take care of a son that had many medical problem. He is now older and gone totally out of my life. He hates me literally and I do not really know why. He is unable to talk to me and express his feelings, he also is not capable of listening or understanding my feelings. He is dead to me. I lost another son at the age of 14 and have never been the same. Then my husband had cancer and I took care of him for so many years until his death. I now have been alone for six years. I am unable to afford a caretaker that can come in maybe twice a week - social security just does not pay enough. I turned 80 this year and can barely walk anymore due to nerve damage in my back and legs. My arms and hands are also becoming weak and almost useless, so many things are hard for me to do, living alone and taking care of a house, yard and two small dogs. My dogs are everything and I can not will not give them up. Lately the one and only friend I have is sort of withdrawing from me. I do not ask for much - but her promises of going food shopping for me and taking me places have disappeared. She claims she is sick every time I see her. She has borrowed a lot of money from me, and I have told her that I will leave her my house if she takes care of my dogs. The dogs love her, so that would work out okay. So day after day I sit and wait, she tells me she will bring food or come and then never show up, No phone call, no text - no nothing. I get so angry I can not even talk to her, because if I say something ugly I might totally run her off.
I do hope you have more luck finding someone that cares - I feel like no one ever cared for me and now still there is no one either to even talk to or sometimes have some companionship. I do not suffer from dementia or anything like that, so it is not like I make demands that can not be met, but she always tells me to call her if I need something. I never do - because the few times I have voiced ,y needs, she has ignored them. She has never said anything positive to me - never admired something I am wearing etc., I tell her all the time how much I like a top she has on or things of that nature.
I do not know that to do - I do not know how to even find someone to talk to on line to interrupt the boredom. I often wonder what gave me the desire to take care of others, never realizing that they may never even say thank you.
JoAnn29 Jun 2020
Megwin, Are you new to the group? Other than this reply, I can't find where you have asked a question yet?

I suggest you call your local Office of Aging. Explain your situation they may have resources you can take advantage of. Depending on your income, you may be able to get Medicaid in home help. You could also call Adult Protection Services, they maybe able to help.

Sorry about your friend. Have you stopped loaning her money? Could be the reason she isn't available. If you have IOUs for the money, I may ask for it back, if she is not forthcoming sue her in small claims court if 5k or under. No lawyer needed.
Midkid58 Jun 2020
Your best bet, in lieu of family to step up, is to hire an attorney to set up your EOL wishes, your trust/will etc.

Do you have close friends who would take this on?

You could google "help with EOL decisions" but I am unaware of a free process.

As far as CG's--I'd go with a trusted agency and hire someone who would meet the needs you may have.

Good Luck.

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