Find Senior Care (City or Zip)
Join Now Log In
P
Pasport Asked April 2020

Would it be good to send a letter?

My mom is in a care home. She is 100 last year and has vascular dementia.  We haven't seen mom since the loack down. I was wondering about sending mom a letter as I have heard that one of the staff have asked if any one would like to write to the residents in the home. I was wondering what to write as I don't think mom would understand properly about the virus and if i did mention it would make mom stress. Any advice as what I could write? Thank you

Lymie61 Apr 2020
If mom is 100 letters are likely the most familiar form of communication when family and friends aren’t close enough to visit in person. Was there a time when you didn’t live close enough to drop by and wrote letters to her to keep in touch? It might feel very normal to her and she might not even question why you are writing and not visiting, I wouldn’t even confuse things by trying to explain or even apologize for not visiting in person. As Tothill suggested I would just talk about the same every day things and life updates the way you might have 40 years ago when you wrote. If she is aware enough of your family, kids husband etc go ahead and update on that but maybe in open ended enough ways that she can relate it to whatever time in her life she might be living in “the kids are enjoying the outdoors more and more” this way you might be talking about your grandchildren but she can think of “the kids” as your children when young if that’s where she’s at. My grandmother loved letters she could read over and over and “picture” my day or life “in her mind” she liked having a description of where I lived for instance so she could live the letter in her mind. She also enjoyed having someone else read a letter out loud though it didn’t happen often as she was perfectly capable but I think a letter that could be read out loud to your 100 year old mom could be really wonderful and comforting to her. No explanations needed just treat the update letters like they are normal.

JoAnn29 Apr 2020
It depends on where she is in her Dementia. By the time my Mom went to an AL, she could not read and understand what she was reading. I would tell her who cards were from, she would just look at it. I would line them up inside her walker basket. The next time I went, they would be gone. Always forgot to ask the aides where they went.

ADVERTISEMENT


Tothill Apr 2020
Just tell her how you and the family are doing. Talk about the flowers blooming outside, how it is getting os much warmer now. Tell her you will see her when the doctors say it is ok.

There is no need at all to mention the virus.

ADVERTISEMENT

Ask a Question

Subscribe to
Our Newsletter