Mom called me TWELVE times in a six hour period with what I think are ridiculous complaints. Today the first complaint was that had her wipe the front and they only wiped the back in the bathroom. Next she complained that it took them 15 minutes to get her lunch brought to the table. (Does she have anything else she needs to do?) Then she claims they’ve fixed her wheelchair so she can’t move it. She also complains that they’ve done something to make her voice gravelly and to make her have phlegm in her throat. Then her water wasn’t in reach. And something about her bra. And not being given enough time to wash her face.
I think this is a wonderful LTC home and have seen no evidence that she’s being mistreated in any way. I know it’s important for me to show up enough that the facility knows somebody still cares about her. But the visits consist of her constantly complaining. I’ve tried lots of things to distract her but it doesn’t work. So between all the phone calls and visits filled with petty complaints, I’m at my wits end.
My mother has always been a narcissist and our relationship has never been great. None of her former friends or neighbors ever visit. My sister lives out of state so sees her infrequently. She’s rude to my husband so I don’t want him to deal with her. And I’m just fed up! Today I hung up on one of her calls and turned my phone off for two hours so I could get some things done.
She is trying to convince me that she needs to move somewhere else. I’m not doing it. This is the fourth place she’s been in two years. She really wants to live with me but we’re in the process of downsizing and moving, plus I’m physically and psychologically unable to care for her.
Should I just tune her out when she complains, try to make her understand that the staff is not trying to be mean, or ??? BTW, she does have mild dementia and is both visual and hearing impaired.