I admitted mom to the nursing home last week Tuesday. I was expecting a whole lot of talk back and negative vibes from her; however, it was a smooth transition. I did tell her that she was there to do some tests to see how she meshes with living with other seniors so that maybe one day she will be able to move into a senior community. I believe she doesn't realize where she is and that's ok with me. I've been there 3 times since admission and she seems fine. She's doing therapy sessions for her speech, eating her meals and wandering around the building. Of course she has a GPS locator on, but she seems fine.

My family and I are trying to figure out how to incorporate the holiday with her without overwhelming her. In the past few years, she has not truly noticed the holiday until we toldl her. Last Christmas, she slept through the entire day. I believe it is too soon to take her away for the day, she needs to get accustomed to her new residence. Every time I visit I take her a little treat with her name on it and her face lights up. She always liked getting gifts. She even told me she loved me when I was leaving yesterday...long time since I heard that from her. She has a roommate so there's not a lot of space in her area and their door is already decorated by the NH for the holidays.

Just looking for ideas as to how to chill with my mom. I'm transitioning back to my single-life while she's transitioning to her new space. It's going to take some time for me to realize that she's not home with me, but the good thing is she is only 15-20 min away.

All the feedback is great! I think the cookie idea sounds nice Eyerishlass. And I shall check with the staff and activity schedule as suggested by Countrymouse so not to overwhelm her with my presence. I am the only child that will be checking in on mom around the holidays. My brother that lives nearby has yet to visit mom. My sister is coming in from MA this weekend to see mom. She is married and a working mom with small kids so I know its hard for her to up and leave and come and visit. My mom's sister that lives nearby has been visiting her every other day during the day, since I am at work. I thank everyone for their ideas!
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to Sistasoul

My mom’s room is decorated for Christmas. I usually go with her for Christmas Eve service downstairs at the chapel. I go Christmas Day to take her gift to her and spend time with her. There’s other family members visiting their LOs and we all know each other.
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to LisaNJ

The years my mom spent in her SNF, we kept Christmas very low key. She had dementia and didn’t really know what day it was. I brought her great-grandsons to decorate a little tree for her and brought her a gift which I usually got back. On one or two occasions, my husband and children came, it it was too much and stressed her out. On one occasion, the facility had a Christmas Party for the children and we went, but it proved to be far too much for mom.

Maybe bring a special favorite dish of Mom’s. Keep it low-key and follow Mom’s lead.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to Ahmijoy

NH's do a lot for holidays but it would be nice if you did something special for your mom. What about baking cookies and handing them out with your mom? That's a lot of baking but your could buy cookies and hand them out to the residents. You'd include your mom too of course. The person with the food is usually the most popular person in the room. Your mom might enjoy that.

Is the NH doing Christmas music, like a sing-a-long? Your mom might enjoy that. Christmas music takes many of us back to our childhoods.

Check with the activities sheet in the NH and see what things they have planned. They won't Christmas slip by without celebrating. Holidays are a big deal in a NH.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to Eyerishlass

Can you take in some of her favourite Christmas music for her to enjoy? Or, 'The Festival of Nine Lessons and Carols' is broadcast live from King's College at 3pm GMT = 10am EST on Christmas Eve, if she likes churchy things.

The other thing to consider, of course, is how to schedule in visiting your mother without completely disrupting the family holiday. Will you all go to see her, or just one or two of you?

Ask the NH staff if there is anything special happening so that you can fit in around their arrangements. If they do organise events it will be an excellent opportunity for your mother to bed in nicely to her new home, and it might even be better for you to keep a low(ish) profile.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to Countrymouse

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