two years ago after my dad had a weeks visit in the ER I opened a new credit card with me and him - I put all their bills on it for auto pay and charge all their necessities, when I have to pick them up on it. He ended up in the hospital two weeks ago and now is in a rehab- those were tough but necessary decisions on both ends during a pandemic. Having the card and automating the bills was the best thing as now it's pretty easy when I need to pick up stuff and don't have to worry if the electric bill is paid while I'm dealing with their health issues - he's 87 and she's 84 and I'm single with no siblings.
Yes, she should be paying something. Someone posted a while back, better to charge rent than to be paid as a Caregiver.
Make sure you have a written agreement that she pays a certain amount for rent. You will need this if she needs Medicaid. You may want to find out if there is a scale to go by. Like 20/30% of her income. HUDD takes 30%.
She should be paying for her own Depends if she uses them. Her toiletries, prescriptions, cost of supplimental health insurance. Any special food she needs/wants. Keep records of everything. You may be able to charge for gas to take her to appts.
When my Mom came to live with me, she still had a house that was up for sale. I didn't charge her rent because of the house. A nephew was living there and later my grandson. They paid the utilities and I paid taxes and house insurance out of Moms money. I used her small pension for her personal things. I kept receipts for everything. Some months she used it all, others I had some left over.
This sounds heartless, but why should I be putting out my money when she had it. I was doing the Caregiving completely. Her money would have just sat there in the bank until she passed and then the siblings would want their share but did none of the work.
I feel that if parents have the money for their care, then they need to use it.
It doesn’t sound heartless. I wish I had known about this forum sooner than I did. I could have avoided mistakes that I made. Thanks for sharing your wisdom, JoAnn.
93 years old. Does she have POA for Health and financial? You may want to look into soon. At least get mom to put her daughter on accounts, so she can help mom with any payments she may have..Mom probably doesnt think about it, does she? If daughter is the only child, there shouldnt be any issue.
Yes, absolutely and she should be paying by a trackable method, like checks, so that if she ever needs Medicaid, she can show where her funds were going. Also, it's what she saved her money for -- her care in her sunset years. I hope she understands this.
If she has her own income from Social Security and/or other pension then yes, this money should be used for her care. If you live in the U.S and in the near future she needs to go to a long term care facility/ NH, each state has a "spend-down" requirement, which means she can't have more than $2,000 in liquid assets when she applies for Medicaid.
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Make sure you have a written agreement that she pays a certain amount for rent. You will need this if she needs Medicaid. You may want to find out if there is a scale to go by. Like 20/30% of her income. HUDD takes 30%.
She should be paying for her own Depends if she uses them. Her toiletries, prescriptions, cost of supplimental health insurance. Any special food she needs/wants. Keep records of everything. You may be able to charge for gas to take her to appts.
When my Mom came to live with me, she still had a house that was up for sale. I didn't charge her rent because of the house. A nephew was living there and later my grandson. They paid the utilities and I paid taxes and house insurance out of Moms money. I used her small pension for her personal things. I kept receipts for everything. Some months she used it all, others I had some left over.
This sounds heartless, but why should I be putting out my money when she had it. I was doing the Caregiving completely. Her money would have just sat there in the bank until she passed and then the siblings would want their share but did none of the work.
I feel that if parents have the money for their care, then they need to use it.
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