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Momsonlychild Asked February 2020

Mom’s high credit card debt, any suggestions?

My Mom suffers with dementia. I’ve been taking care of her for several years. She ran up two credit cards to $12K! Due to an increase in her rent, etc I cannot pay the minimum amounts due. I do send in payments but the companies just add fees so the balance never changes. I’ve tried to work with them but their minimum monthly payments I just can’t pay. I’m thinking of not paying them at all. Mom doesn’t need a good credit score. It’s said because she never had a CC balance ever! Any ideas or suggestions would be so appreciated.

JoAnn29 Feb 2020
Do you have POA? Has your Mom been declared incompetent so the POA is now in effect? If the POA is in effect, freeze the cards. This way neither she nor anyone else can use them. Just call the credit people as her POA to make the change. Do not give them any personal info. If she is not using them anymore take them home with you. Cut them up if u have the info on them. If she can't afford to pay them, then don't pay them. They cannot come after you. Block the calls if you can. If she has a cell, set it for "contacts only". All other calls will just go to VM. You can then review them and block. And if u happen to get a call, tell them you have nothing to do with the debt and...DO NOT CALL ME AGAIN. By the law, they cannot call you again. They can continue to send bills but they cannot call you. They can be reported to FTC.

Paying the minimum is just a waste of money. At 12k its probably only paying the interest and little of the principle. Even if you negotiate down, you still have the same problem. So if it was me, I would just stop paying. Most of the debt is probably interest and/or late fees. Its really hard to get this amount of debt down.

I think "judgement Proof" comes into effect when a person is in a LTC facility with Medicaid paying for their care. SS is "judgement proof" in that situation. Not sure if SS is judgement proof if the person is living independently and SS is their only income?

freqflyer Feb 2020
Momsonlychild, time to cut up the credit cards, and make a "therapeutic fib" like the cards expired and she can't get new cards until the old ones are paid in full. I don't know if your Mom would understand that being she has dementia.

Your profile mentions that your Mom is living in Independent Living, thus I assume that means she is renting an apartment in senior living, correct? Is Mom still purchasing items, or are these credit card balances old debts from some time ago, and the interest keeps piling on?

Whatever you do, do NOT use your own money to pay your Mom's debts.

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anonymous912123 Feb 2020
Don't pay them, if they are not in your name let it go. The creditors will hound your mother, just ignore their calls and letters. I imagine that she is judgement proof, and as you said, she doesn't need credit anyway.

ML4444 Feb 2020
I don’t have an answer, but I’m facing this problem with my mother too. I have tried everything to get her to stop spending, but she won’t. She pays hers in full, but the amount is ridiculously high and i feel she is going to spend herself into the poorhouse... nothing gets thru to her. Anyone have ideas? I tried taking the card, then she wrote checks. I took those and she spent her cash, which I was already limiting. I can’t leave her with no money, she still drives and has to have some funds.. i sound ridiculous and controlling, but she spent over $21K last year on clothing she doesn’t need..fast food...and other miscellaneous bs. Ideas?
anonymous912123 Feb 2020
As long as she is of sound mind, there is really nothing you can do, it is her money. I do not control anyone else's spending, however, if they run into trouble later, I will not dig them out either. For every bad action, there will be a bad reaction. Sorry, that I am not of any help!

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