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lele88 Asked February 2020

Both of my parents have dementia & live at home, they are not driving. Trying to get them to have home care once a week. Any advice?

First try didn't work. My brother and I both live locally and I go there once a week to run errands and take them grocery shopping. My brother goes over several times a week whenever something goes wrong. We want to get a caregiver for 2 hrs to start out and then increase as needed. Long term plan is to put them in a progressive care community for seniors (they are on inactive list). How will we know when to make the move?

losingitinmo Feb 2020
We got my mom to accept a "helper" by saying the helper was there to drive her wherever she wanted -- like a chauffeur. She seemed to think that was acceptable. Of course, the helper quickly also became a cook, a laundress, someone to help with groceries, etc... But it was a way to get her in the door. Good luck!

Daughterof1930 Feb 2020
Windy is correct, if they aren’t willing to go it often takes a crisis to make it happen. If they aren’t competent and you have POA then it may be possible to make the move happen sooner and a bit more easily, at least legally. In the meantime, are they wearing some type of fall alert device? My dad wears a pendant necklace type, it’s been a big help. We’ve found caregivers often want a minimum shift of at least 5-6 hours to make it worth their coming.

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anonymous912123 Feb 2020
I believe that one should plan ahead, get them located before it becomes an emergency.

We placed my step father and his wife in AL, knowing that she will need to be placed in MC soon. If he dies, it will be immediately. We selected a home that offers a step up program in the same building.

It takes them time to settle in, to acclimate and the more faculties they have the easier it is as they have some understanding of what is going on.

Elderly people do better if they are with people their own ages, they make new friends, enjoy the activities and more. According to the experts, isolation in their home is not in their best interest.

Windyridge Feb 2020
If things are going wrong....several times a week, it’s time for assisted living. Getting them in is a whole other issue. Like most of us you will probably have to take advantage of a crisis. My folks refused all help and refused to move. I was ready to turn them over to APS but finally had the game changer crisis that forced them into care.

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