Setting up a Wellness seminar at work - need your guidance to select topics that should be included.

I learned several very important things here that every adult child if an elder should know:

1. You can say "no" to hospital discharge. It can be because it will be an "unsafe discharge" because there will be no one at home to care for the patient, or because they haven't addressed the problem that the patient came in for.

2. UTIs can cause psychiatric symptoms in elderly people.

3. A good geriatric psychiatrist may be the most important person to get on your parents' care team. They see the who patient, body, soul and mind. Your parent should have to suffer with anxiety, depression or panic. Psychic pain is PAIN and should be treated. Even if it means a Black Box drug.

4. Don't give up your livelihood or your marriage to become caregiver to your parent. Your parents' funds are their to fund their own care. Your retirement funds will be needed to fund yours. Everyone pays their own way.

5. If you HAVE to move a parent in with you, make sure that YOU have POA and access to their funds to pay for care. Not your sibling or step-parent. Set up a caregiving contract and room and board agreement with your parent BEFORE they move in.

Two ideas I think should be mentioned are:

1. Boundaries, and why they are so important. Parents can make it difficult, and the caregiver must stand firm and enforce their boundaries, or they will be sucked in and under.

2. Dealing with hospital personnel who want to dump the care of the elder onto family members, when the person/family can no longer care for the elder. Make seminar attendees aware of the lies and promises that might be made by the hospital personnel ("There isn't anywhere available right now, but if you take him home I'll let you know as soon as I find something!"). The best time to have facility placement take place is often when the elder is hospitalized. If the hospital wants to release the elder who needs a lot of care, and the family can't/won't take responsibility, the key words to use by the family are, "This would be an unsafe discharge." That forces the hospital's hand, and they have to come up with another plan.

After participating on this forum for a long time and going through almost every elder issue there is, what strikes me the most is how often the kids get just totally blind sided when the *#@)’#$ hits the fan. So a couple thoughts:

Have THE TALK early. Don’t wait till the neighbors are calling telling you about mom wandering the streets in her bathrobe. Sit down with you parents/loved ones and ask about end of life wishes, POA, Wills, bank accounts and so forth. Lay some track early.

Elders are not always cooperative. Well, hardly ever really. With my folks I had to do lots of covert operations to find important paperwork and financial info. And what I found was a big mess.

Dont wait for the official diagnosis of dementia to act. You see lots of posts here where elders supposedly don’t have dementia but are making horrible decisions. To avoid financial, driving, and medical disasters do as much as you can to mitigate.

DAD WILL GET SO MAD IF WE TAKE THE CAR/TAKEOVER HIS MONEY/GET IN HOME HELP etc, etc. You cannot allow poor decisions and/or dementia to run the show. Elders are going to have to make changes they don’t like. And it can be a battle. I learned to choose my battles. Didn’t win them all by a long shot.

I CANT LIE TO DAD......Yes you can. Fibbing is the only way to keep elders calm and help them as dementia develops. My folks would have died horrible deaths in a filthy house had I not done my daily theater.

Take advantage of the crisis. There will be a fall, stroke , car wreck, or any number of things that force a change. The change might be such things as ending the driving, getting in home help or moving to a care facility of some sort. My mom fell for the umpteenth time, went to the hospital and from there to assisted living. Huge fight, crying all that, but I held fast. No way that women was going back to that run down house. She was a two person assit at this point.

Realise that you can’t fix old age. We’re programmed from birth to do the best we possibly can for our kids and parents but you can’t fix everything. I read so many stories of folks chasing around for the right doc, right therapy, best drug, for their elders. I understand, I did some of that also. But at some point it really doesn’t matter that a 90 year with advanced dementia, COPD and heart failure eats a little too much ice cream or quits taking some drug or other.

A priority topic should be "Care for the Caregiver:". Maybe incorporate this into each of the other topics as well. The old analogy of parents putting on their oxygen masks in a plane before putting on their children's works well here, though analogies of child care and senior care don't extend very far. They are quite different. In itself it may be a topic worth presenting. Most of your audience probably have experience in child care. Some people make the error of thinking they are similar. In most respects they aren't.

Wellness for caregivers is vital. Research indicates that up to 40% of caregivers die before the person they care for. That is a sobering figure.

Boundaries for caregivers is another good topic.

You will find ideas if you scroll through this site. Good luck

I have a few ideas for topics for you.
1. Someone from a Veterans Assistance Commission office to come in and explain some of the programs that are available to Veterans and the family.
2. An Elder Care Attorney to explain some of the processes that might be necessary. From Guardianship to Avoiding Guardianship, Trusts, Wills and all the rest of the stuff that no one wants to talk about.
3. Someone from Hospice. They can explain how much help that Hospice can provide, that it is not a "6 months or less" and that they will not "overdose and kill" your loved one.
4. Someone from the Alzheimer's Association that can hep explain dementia. They have a WONDERFUL program that takes a few weeks but it is so full of information. And include other groups. Parkinson's has a particular dementia, each dementia has it's quirks that people should know about.
5. Ask other employees to share their experiences, what they have learned navigating the quagmire that is care-giving. There will always be someone where you were 6 months ago and someone where you will be in 6 months. When I first started going to support groups I felt that it was a good day if someone was having a more difficult time than I was...and if I could help someone with what I had learned that was worth the education. We all learn from each other

My Mother passed away about a year ago from Alzheimer's-related complications. Here are five main topics that I found important throughout this whole Alzheimer's experience.
1) . There is no new learning that you can expect from this person any longer. I tried to "train" my mother to save up her mail so that we could go through it together every few days. Big surprise/ It didn't work.
2) . Figure out finances and obtain POA and Durable Medical POA if you are even thinking of taking over your loved one's life and affairs. It's incredibly difficult and stressful even WITH these documents in place; do not attempt managing your loved one's affairs without both of these items in place.
3) . Reality. Grip it. You will need to keep telling yourself that this formerly capable person is no longer capable of making sound decisions for major life choices; you will need to step in and step UP to make decisions for them and be their advocate. Even though they may disagree or not agree, with any or all of your decisions. As an RN, my primary duty to my patients in the operating room was to be their advocate since they could not protect or defend themselves. You will need to act on this truth, for their benefit; again, even when the loved one does not agree and cannot fully or even partially understand why you are making certain plans/events take place. Examples include hiring help inside the home, or placing your loved one in a memory care facility, or taking away the car keys.
4) Know who your support system is (and who is not helpful or supportive), and try your best to not take out your grief, anger, sorrow/angst on any one person for too long. You may lose friends/support/loved ones if you " take it out" on any one person for too long. I speak from multiple personal experiences on this one. Attend support groups formal therapy, and/or online support groups as often as you can in order to keep your existing support system in place, and you will hopefully add to your trusted core of true friends/family.
5) Don't ever forget to give yourself a break; a break from guilt , anger, discouragement, and disappointment. You will make mistakes along the way and second-guess yourself. We are only human and this is going to be one of the most difficult journeys on which you have ever taken; you didn't even ask for it, but it's happening! It might be long, it might be short, but it will be difficult; make sure to pace yourself along the way.

I see a lot of great information here about the needed topics to discuss. I’m not sure where you are located, but if you are in the United States, there are programs and services available through the National Older Americans Act. These programs are offered by the State Agencies on Aging. There are Area Agency on Aging(AAA) that provide assessment/evaluation for older adults and caregivers that can help.
There are other great resources at your local Aging and Disability Resource Centers (ADRC), also available through your AAA. (Housing, repairs, legal, heat/electricity, respite, case management, homemaker companion, transportation)
As for other topics to touch base on:
*behaviors (not showering) (repetition) (agitation) etc...
*Dementia education: effects all of the senses. (Can see but the connection to the brain from the eyes is damaged)(peripheral vision is lost) (Can hear but can’t understand)
Dementia is a set of symptoms caused by 80+ diseases. Diagnosis is key to treatment.
i have seen that many children do not want to talk with their parents about aging issues. I have many seniors that want to discuss end of life issues and the kids will not hear of it.
Another issue is gun safety.
Just a couple of ideas to help.
Cuddos to you for offering this help to people. It is more than needed.

The one issue I would suggest is "WHEN IS Enough, enough? " There comes a time when that line in the sand needs to be drawn. Have that talk before the tide
comes in.

Outside speakers and local experts are a great idea. Poll the group to identify their most pressing questions ahead of time, then you'll know which speaker to invite first. Be sure to inform the speakers that a sales pitch is not what you want and to prepare for an open and honest discussion. Take turns bringing some light refreshments and you will have the start of a support group among your coworkers.

I do think your final workshop should be "What to do so your children don't need these workshops". Seriously. We need to plan for ourselves and take the necessary steps so our children do not need plan and worry. Aging in place? Remodel that house and make financial plans for outside help, not your children. Anything they do should be icing on the cake. Expect you will need more help? Move to an independent living section of a community with memory and personal care sections. Make a living will and sign a POLST, appoint a medical POA - make sure they know your wishes and will agree to carry them out. Appoint a financial POA. Use an elder lawyer to help set up a way for your POAs to overcome any problems that may come up ( just read the posts on this site for those!).