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Teresa08 Asked December 2019

My 92yr old mom lives with us. Any advice?

How do I go about getting someone to come in for a couple hrs a week so I can get out to take care of whatever. Mom has dementia and I'm the only one out or 7 siblings that takes care of her 24/7. Getting too much for me not putting her in a home, just wanted to know how and who pays for someone to come in and why I'm not getting paid, my oldest sister gets her SS co..???

XenaJada Dec 2019
Have you asked older sister WHY she is getting the SS $ and HOW it is being spent? WHY haven't you put your mom in a home? Are the siblings guilting you into being the caregiver?

CTTN55 Dec 2019
In your profile you state that you live behind her. Do you now live with her? Your profile shares some troubling information. If your older sister is guardian and her SS representative payee, you should let HER take care of your mother. Haven't you done your part?

Who else is in your family? Husband, children? Do you work? If so, why not? I hope you didn't retire early to take care of your mother.

Out of 7 siblings, you shouldn't be the only one to do the hands-on caregiving (you did say, though, that a younger sister helps out a bit). Why did you agree to this situation?

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NeedHelpWithMom Dec 2019
Contact Council on Aging in your area. They will do an assessment on her. At her age she should qualify. They generally have four hour shifts in which they will bathe her if desired, fix a light meal. tidy her room, play cards or other activities with her if she desires.

Most times there is a wait list so call as soon as possible. The service is free.

Or you can call an organization and pay per hour. Visiting Angels, Home Instead, etc. Google caregivers in your area. Usually $20 to $25 an hour. Four hour shifts are the norm.

I have been there. I know it’s hard. Hugs.

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