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Rosesrred4 Asked December 2019

Agonizing choice for mom's care...

Mom is 81 & has gastroparesis (from hernia surgery) & feeding tube which keeps clogging. She is malnourished since liquid nutrition isn't working & health is rapidly declining. She is in hospital for 4th time to unclog tube & doctors have run out of options. She is very weak & has no advance directives. Our hearts are breaking but we are now at the point that if tube clogs again, do we unclog or just let nature take its course. Anyone have experience?

anonymous275216 Dec 2019
If everything else fails I am feeling you need to have a very serious discussion with your mothers treating GP. Perhaps it is getting very close to letting go and let nature take its course.
My siblings and I are dreading that type of decision. Mother is 93 with advanced progressive dementia .. vascular, Alzheimers and FTD. Three times in 8 months we have had to confirm that she is DNR because the doctors thought she was on her way out, 3 times she has rallied, a little slower, a little more confused, a little more unpredictable each time. IVs are routinely pulled out when in hospital, as are catheters. Refusal to eat or take meds is the norm. Has lost over 22kgs ...over 40 pds since beginning of year.
The time is looming when we are going to have to make the heart breaking decision like you Rosesred4. Do we allow use of a feeding tube, which she will keep pulling out, let alone a breathing tube.My mother has always said she could be 106 and a vegetable, but still wanted to be resuscitated because while there is life there is hope. Going against her wishes is part of our nightmare.
I wish you courage and strength to make the decision which is in your mothers best interests, Redroses4.

anonymous989752 Dec 2019
Your profile indicates that your mom is in a NH. Please contact the director of nursing. Generally speaking, a properly cared for feeding tube should never be clogged to the point of requiring hospitalization, let alone 4 times. Others have mentioned palliative and hospice care. It’s a compassionate choice and will offer additional oversight into mom’s care as well as support to the family as you navigate the difficult decisions. I’m so sorry that you’re dealing with all of this. Hugs to you.

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Jo123456 Dec 2019
Why does the tube keep clogging ?
Are they having you try to push puréed food down it..... or is the liquid clogging it. Or it it not being sufficiently flushed because of fluid restriction? or what?
You(family) need to be asking that question

Sendhelp Dec 2019
Remembering Veronica91, unclog that tube please.

(Every patient is different).

You can also look into "Palliative Care" which would include clearing the feeding tube.

Others have looked into Dr. Atul Gawandi who can be found in books, but also
Youtube videos online. He is a surgeon, with ideas to meet the patient where they are at. Not at all what I imagined.

cwillie Dec 2019
I'm sorry you have to make such an agonizing decision. Since you haven't mentioned dementia the choice is really your mother's to make, hopefully you will be guided by compassionate doctors.

BarbBrooklyn Dec 2019
Has anyone talked about Hospice care as an option?

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