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wendall Asked December 2019

Two caregivers left Dad alone for 4-5 hours between their shifts. I don't want to overreact, but need to deal with this lapse. Advice?

Cutting to the chase: Dad is in Assisted Living and also has 24/7 private caregivers (not agency). I was stunned on Thanksgiving to learn that the day shift caregiver left early and the night time caregiver arrived late, leaving Dad (age 92 with advanced dementia) completely alone for 4-5 hours. They told me, at about 8pm that night, that they wanted to be with their families and that they had asked the CNAs at the ALF would check in on Dad. I get that they would want to be with family but I am nonetheless shocked that they would abandon their responsibility to my Dad. Since this was only brought to my attention while it was occurring, I had no chance to make other arrangements for my Dad’s care with an agency, or to go stay with him myself. One CG has been w/Dad 4 years, and the other more than a year. Adding insult to injury, today is payday and they claimed their full time on the time sheet. I have to deal with this matter today and would welcome advice.

SmileCryLaugh Dec 2019
If at all possible, I would keep the best one of the two (to mitigate too much change for your dad) and rework your schedule with three caregivers. Having three will give you, and them, more flexibility. With the holidays you will run into the situation of having gaps more frequently.
Express your disappointment with the caregiver that remains, don’t pay for hours not worked, and ask for his/her input for the new schedule.
Hope this helps!

anonymous979634 Dec 2019
Unacceptable. I would terminate their employment based on either infraction but the fact that they both shortened their shift without discussing it with you AND falsified the hours, done. They’ve betrayed your trust. Do you really want them caring for your father anymore?

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TNtechie Dec 2019
You have two caregivers for your father and expect each to work every day? Or is there a third/fourth caregiver to help rotate shifts? Was the holiday discussed at all prior to the actual date or did you just assume both would prefer working to the celebrations?

I completely disagree with what they did; however, please consider if you also played a role by not addressing holiday scheduling beforehand? I assume you are managing the shifts since you state they are not agency. Sometimes an employer needs to bring up issues that could potentially make employees uncomfortable, like holiday scheduling. Or even ask an open ended question to allow an employee to tell you if they have concerns.

You need to discuss this with them, but you need to get your emotions under control first. You want to discuss this is a calm businesslike manner. Try to use a problem solving or I want to understand air and not an accusatory one.

I would express my disappointment in how they handled wanting/needing time off and leaving your father alone without giving you any opportunity to schedule coverage with someone else. I would probably mention this could be considered neglect and if anything had happened to your father while he was alone the authorities may have considered charges. Then I would ask why they didn't call before taking the time off? Was this a spur of the moment decision or had it been planned several days ahead? Why do the timesheets show a full shift was worked? Have they also left your father alone before and recorded the time as working a full shift? I would express their actions have damaged your trust in them and I would probably implement some type of oversight control, at least for a while. Could they get a signature on the timesheet from someone on the AL staff when the shift begins or ends? Send you a text message? Maybe with a photo attached of them in your father's AL building/apartment?

It's a difficult situation but if they have otherwise been good caregivers for your father I would try to work past it.

FloridaDD Dec 2019
I would tell them to resubmit their time sheets with the correct time, and tell them in the future, they MUST request time off in advance (say 24 ours, or whatever).  Can you check with the AL facility and see if you are allowed a camera in his room?  Some places allow, some do not.

Lymie61 Dec 2019
Wow, this is a tough one and claiming full time on their time sheets is really going the extra mile over the boundary unless there is a precedent for it. Have there been other occasions when one of them needed to leave early or arrive late (not as much of a time span) that you approved and paid them for anyway out of the kindness of your heart? It's interesting to me they both did this with their time sheets... Anyway it kind of depends on where your at with it, can you get past this and trust each of them if you air it all out and come to an understanding moving forward? Were you planning on giving them a holiday bonus? If so and it were me I would probably have a sit down with each or both of them and be very clear about how disappointed you are in the way it was handled. You pay 24/7 caregivers for your dad's safety and while you appreciate them making sure the AL staff would check in on him and knew he was alone not giving you the ability to make other arrangements is a big problem, you feel your dad's safety is at stake and need to know that this will never happen again. You can appreciate their need to change schedules and of course be with family and are willing to work with that but they must give you notice and work with you. Then let the weeks pay go as their bonus and make it easy for yourself. But this only works if you feel good about the conversation and understanding between you.

If not and you really can't see a scenario where you will trust one or both again and it's worth the turmoil and work of finding new aids then make a clean break, tell them why and make sure you tell future aids why you had to let the last ones go.

Such a tough one, I'm sorry you are having to deal with this. Good luck

LoopyLoo Dec 2019
Not certain on how to handle this situation... but if your dad is needing 24/7 care in AL, he needs more than AL.
wendall Dec 2019
Dad has had 24/7 caregivers for 5 years, including when in hospitals or rehab centers. This is b/c they don't have enough staff to spare for private care for someone w/dementia who can't be left alone, can't remember instructions and so on. He was in a nursing home for bout a month and it was a total disaster. Perhaps you are thinking he belongs in Memory Care? Possibly, but he would still need private caregivers in that setting too. I looked at least 6 places before deciding on the ALF where he is now about 18 months ago. It has worked well, He has a small apartment, and
can have meals in the dining room. There are RNs to dispense meds and on call for an emergency. He can take part in activities offered such as concerts. Its worked out well.
Countrymouse Dec 2019
What does it say in their contracts?
shad250 Dec 2019
I second that

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