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Floridagirl6 Asked November 2019

Can we request that a specific caregiver at mom's MCF not be assigned to my mother; due to many issues we have with her?

Just wondering if we can request that a specific caregiver (that we don't feel does her job well and lacks common sense and is rude and talks in a condescending manner to all the patients...I could go on and on but, I won't) not be assigned to take care of my mom? We have legitimate issues with her and simply don't want her responsible for caring for my mom; of course, she would have interaction with her but just not be assigned to her. Although I don't want to alienate this CG, I don't want her caring for mom more but, I also don't want to make this situation worse for anyone. ~If anybody has any experience/knowledge in this area please share your thoughts with me. Thanks in Advance!!


FloridaGirl

Shane1124 Nov 2019
I was DON at an out patient dialysis center. There were different levels of staff experience there & folks used to request the same therapist all the time. I did not generally promote this for several reasons - The staff member requested was not always scheduled when that patient was there, & my thoughts were that the staff needed to be able to take care of all patients and I wouldn’t allow it. Also that staff member may not want to take care of that person all the time. What happens if the favored CG quit? The client will need to get used to someone else.
I suggest you speak with mgmt about the concerns you have with staff & allow them to fix it. But I would not make a promise I could not keep as far as assigning only one specific CG to a specific person all the time.

lealonnie1 Nov 2019
Yes, you can always ask for a specific CG not to care for your mom. But I have some different advice to offer you: try not to micro-manage your mother's life at the Memory Care ALF. Allow them to care for her so YOU can have somewhat of a life of your own. The whole idea of having a parent in an ALF is so that they CAN be given care as needed, by qualified people, on a regular basis. Nothing, however, will ever be perfect in an ALF. The caregivers won't all be to your liking, or have the experience or bedside manner you find appropriate. But, as long as you feel your mom is being taken care of relatively well, then you can sleep well at night. These MCs also have a tendency to be understaffed lots of times, meaning they will rely on Agencies to help them with caregivers. This means your mom will be cared for by a wide variety of different people who you'll be unable to keep track of after a while.

My mother chronically complains about SOMEONE who's not seeing to her needs to her satisfaction. Who doesn't do things perfectly, or to her standards. After a while, I listen with half an ear because overall, my mother is GAINING weight and looking healthy. She's having no significant issues (other than the ones she creates in her own head) and THAT is why I feel confident in paying the enormous fees I pay to this facility every month.

Try to step back just a bit, and let things be. Unless, of course, you feel your mother is being truly mistreated in some way. And then you'd need to first contact the ED and then the Ombudsman if necessary to file a formal complaint. If it's just a personality quirk, then you may want to let it go.

All the best as you navigate this new & difficult territory for and with your dear mom.
Floridagirl6 Nov 2019
All good points Leolonnie1 Thanks!
I don't have a disliking for her personally. It's her skillset. My mom never complains, she's late stage AD. These are things I have witnessed myself.

For example: Today when I went to visit mom, she had a soiled diaper stuck in in pant leg at the ankle. Soaking wet and soiled, there's no way she could of gotten it where it was lodged on her own. I noticed as soon as I saw her, it was sticking out like a sore thumb. but she had on a clean pullup. My mom needs assistance changing...

These are all care issues, that don't happen with the other CGs at moms MCF just this 1 CG, who I don't think does her basic job responsibilities if she can get away with not doing them.

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kbuser Nov 2019
Definitely, I have requested specific CG for my mom. Some CG just aren't experienced enough to handle her (she has mobility issues) and some there is just a personality clash. The agency I use is always good about making sure the right CG is assigned to my mom.
Floridagirl6 Nov 2019
Thanks...Good to know!
againx100 Nov 2019
Doesn't hurt to ask
Floridagirl6 Nov 2019
True.
JoAnn29 Nov 2019
Yes u can ask. I would talk to the Director of Nursing. Explain why you don't want this person do hands on with Mom. Say that you don't want the person to lose their job but the way they treat residents is not acceptable.
Floridagirl6 Nov 2019
Yes JoAnn2, today I found mom with a soiled diaper stuck in her pants at the ankle today, (my mom doesn't have abilities to have put it there without injury) she did have a clean pullup on though (which I was grateful for). I was so Shocked and Frustrated that I went right to the ED and showed him what I found and I have requested that the CG be relieved of her caregiving responsibilities for my mom (directly). They were calling the CG in to a meeting as I left.~ I will talk to the ED tomorrow to see what they happened. I feel like I need a drink! Lol and I don't even drink!

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