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Unfortunately, there's a caregiver at Mom's Memory Care Facility that has repeatedly shown a lack of empathy, concern and general care to many of the patients and I have witnessed this myself, I am unsure who to talk to. Some examples are: talking/acting in derogatory/ugly manner to patients who are simply asking for a drink or a question, leaving her patients without undergarments for entire days, leaving her patients in the same day clothes overnight from one day to the next. Putting dirty clothes right back into moms (and others) clean clothing bin, rather than washing them- 3 days in a row she requested we bring in more bras for my mother and for 3 days in a row she showed/told me my mom had no clean bras she was comfortable in, (shouldn't she have just done the laundry? We can't afford to keep buying more bras because they go missing or they're dirty) Also, she dressed my mom in a winter Sweater in feels like 98 degrees out (were in FL) 3 days out of 6 in 1 week (mom has 10-15 outfits easy), I kept coming in the morning (8:30-9AM) finding mom outside sweating beads, hair soaked from walking around, I took her in to get her fluids and change her and the Caregiver asked me why I needed to change her (they have her clothes in the laundry room in bins bc she was always packing them up on her bed), I said she's sweating and overheated and it feels like 98 degrees out; her response to me was. "Oh, I didn't even think about that." Really, isn't that her job? or part of it... to dress her patients appropriately to the weather, especially since many of them walk and walk and walk. (I still have the damn sweater at my house I was so tired of seeing mom in it). I don't expect perfection, but I do expect people to use common sense. In my mind, its likely, that if it depended on this 1 CG my mom would of been sweating and too hot all day had I not been there...


I am FRUSTRATED!! These are only a couple of issues I have with this Caregiver... This CG always looks upset about something beginning, middle or end of the shift. I'm not sure if she doesn't like her job or she is burnt out but it's not really my issue either way; my issue is I don't think she is doing an acceptable job as a caregiver for any of her patients, at least not on a consistent basis. Thanks in advance for your thoughts on this situation and any suggestions on how to handle it moving forward!


FloridaGirl

As far as the laundry goes......that may not be the caregivers job. So it’s not a matter of “couldn’t she have just done the laundry”. Now at the very least, what she should have done was see to it that your moms laundry was washed. She could have contacted whoever is in charge of laundry.
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Floridagirl6 Nov 8, 2019
Thank you WorriedinCali. You're correct, in that it might not have been her responsibility but, in this case is was; however, either way she should have made sure my moms laundry was cleaned rather than wait for me to come the next 2 days in a row and repeatedly tell me she has no clean laundry.
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You’re the advocate for your mom now. Go to the nursing director or other administrative person and let them know the situation. A subtle hint that your mom is a paying customer won’t hurt (even if she’s on Medicaid that’s still money to the place) My mom spent four years in a NH, during that time we had mostly good workers, some outstanding, but one so bad we had to request never work with my mom again. The NH honored our request, and soon it didn’t matter because the bad worker didn’t last anyway.
The caregiver you’re dealing with sounds like she’s not working in the right place for her, or at the least needs more and better training. But that doesn’t get taken out on your mom! Good job looking out for her!
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Reply to Daughterof1930
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Floridagirl6 Nov 8, 2019
Thank you and yes, we pay $5700 per month out of pocket. Can I ask for this caregiver not to work with my mom? I didn't know how that worked; I certainly don't want her to be uglier to my mom (in passing) out of anger that I don't want mom to care for her. Surely, she would know it was requested for her not to care for my mom that it was us (me) as I am a daily fixture and will continue to be.
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The Director of Nursing at the center is the place to start.
Document everything.
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Reply to Shane1124
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Floridagirl6 Nov 8, 2019
Thanks and trust me I take pictures of mom and of us everyday at every visit; I started out doing that to have the memories but, it has turned out to have other uses (i.e. documentation of her daily outfits that I can go back and look at every single day). This morning when I picked her up she was wearing the same outfit (uncleaned from the day before yesterday); I'm disappointed and frustrated but, I guess I want to know if I am being unreasonable Shane1124 to expect mom to have clean clothes on after her Friday morning shower? They were aware I would be picking her up at 8 am, as I did give the CG herself advance notice.
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