My 89 yr old Mom gets very angry when I talk about finding someone to stay with her so that my husband and I can go away on trips. Advice?

You can't let mom drive your life. You need time out and whether she wants it or not is just too bad.

My DH hated for me to go places when he was ill (he's had a lot of bed-bound health issues over the years)---but I still went. One over nighter with friends and he acted like I'd left him. Yet he travels a lot and often leaves me for 2-3 weeks and does not call me.

Next time he has a health issue that lands him 'in bed' for whatever reason, I am going to treat him the way he treated me through 6 months of cancer this year. Going to do what I want, go where I want and he can figure it out. He's proudly told people he's 'taken care of me' but all he can cook is fried eggs. Yuck. You try that 3 times a day and you'll be ready to gag.

Mom is not in charge--so follow Cwillie's great advice.

I agree 100% with cwillie.

She has two options.

1 stay in your house with the caregiver you hire.

2 go to a nursing home that offers respite stays. She pays.

if she kicks up a fuss over number 1, number 2 it is.

Don't talk about it, just present her with a fait accompli. Since this is your house it's your rules.