She has macular degeneration, cancer & doesn’t hear well. She lives with us and I drive her to all doctor appointments and do all the cooking & shopping etc. She feels she doesn’t need anyone here while we are away.
We feel like it would be unsafe to leave her & we would not have as good a time worrying.
My DH hated for me to go places when he was ill (he's had a lot of bed-bound health issues over the years)---but I still went. One over nighter with friends and he acted like I'd left him. Yet he travels a lot and often leaves me for 2-3 weeks and does not call me.
Next time he has a health issue that lands him 'in bed' for whatever reason, I am going to treat him the way he treated me through 6 months of cancer this year. Going to do what I want, go where I want and he can figure it out. He's proudly told people he's 'taken care of me' but all he can cook is fried eggs. Yuck. You try that 3 times a day and you'll be ready to gag.
Mom is not in charge--so follow Cwillie's great advice.
She has two options.
1 stay in your house with the caregiver you hire.
2 go to a nursing home that offers respite stays. She pays.
if she kicks up a fuss over number 1, number 2 it is.