Need help with communication; severe issues, as I care for my ill mother in her home.

Yours is a very stressful situation, I'm sorry you and your family are going through this!

As suggested below by BarbBrooklyn, you will need to start by figuring out what's going on with your mom. Without knowing this, "family therapy" (as mentioned in your profile) may not help your situation since she may not be able to change her thinking/behavior if she is having cognitive decline. How old is your mom? If she has dementia, other decisions and solutions need to be considered. Please be flexible in your thinking about how to "fix" the chaos. Some things can't be fixed in the way we wish. Peace to you!

It sounds as though your mother has had a change in mental status?

Have you talked to her doctor about what is happening?

Has she been diagnosed with any mental illness? Is she getting help and/or meds for that?

Is it possible that she needs a higher level of care than can be given at home right now?

Wow! Read your profile and I got worn out just reading it! I’m so sorry. I wouldn’t have a clue where to start to help you. Others are more qualified but I wanted to offer support and a hug!