Find Senior Care (City or Zip)
Join Now Log In
X
XenaJada Asked September 2019

Why do elderly people typically begin to distrust family members and TRUST scammers?

Why do elderly people typically begin to distrust family members and TRUST scammers? My mom is 95% of sound mind, but she is slipping a bit. She is becoming distrustful of me and my sisters in small ways, but will jump at the chance to send money to a scammer.


The latest are different scammers pretending to be veteran's assistant groups. She sends money to every mail solicitation she receives! Of course, they sell their mailing lists to each other, so she is getting more and more of these in the mail. Her reply when we ask her about it is "Disabled veterans are very deserving! We need to be helping them!" I ask "How do you know this is a legitimate charity?" Her reply, "Well, they had a lot of good information and nice looking brochure in the packet."


GAHHHHHHH!!!


My sister's MIL frequently gave out her CC#, SS# and checking account number to ANYONE who called and claimed to be with the SSA or her bank! My sister was constantly cleaning up messes for a couple of years, and finally took control of her finances. Her MIL was otherwise very alert and aware of the world around her.

anonymous158299 Oct 2019
i oft supervise dept of correction subjects . talk about leaving the fox in charge of the henhouse . i think theyre leary of ME . maybe they SHOULD be .

anonymous158299 Oct 2019
NeedHelpWithMom,
taking pizza orders . i LIKE it . dont take that as a feather in your cap cause , well , finish that sentence yourself .
Ha Ha Ha , i work for a multi county forestry now . i tell hiking trail perspectives to just " take off over the hill right there , it'll all work out " -- and roll your pantlegs up , the rattlesnakes HATE that ,.

ADVERTISEMENT


Geaton777 Sep 2019
My elderly aunt started doing this before we realized she had the beginnings dementia. She's 97 now but her older sister, 100, who doesn't have any dementia, never engaged in this behavior. Maybe it's not a senior thing, but a dementia thing. If you are really concerned maybe you can intercept her mail? We did this with my in-laws when stepFIL was throwing out his bills. Or if your mom is part of a faith community you can suggest she just make donations to that organization so that the help will get to people in her community? Good luck!

anonymous912123 Sep 2019
They are easily conned when they think they can "win" some big money or think that their money will help someone. Both make them feel good about themselves.

We family members try and ruin their fun, and they think that they know better.

Normal thing with the aged.

lealonnie1 Sep 2019
Well, scammers are con men. Con stands for 'confidence'. They are trained & well versed in saying all the right things to convince even the hardest nosed individual to 'invest' in whatever scheme it is they're peddling.

On the other hand, we family members are all pains in the butts, forcing our loved ones to take their medications or go to the doctor or eat their meals or take a shower, right?

So we're the Bad Guys and the scammers are the Good Guys, since they're sweet talking and we're not.

Sad but true.
cherokeegrrl54 Sep 2019
That last 2 paragraphs summed it up perfectly!!
NeedHelpWithMom Sep 2019
Scammers are using all kinds of deceitful ways now. I have noticed they now use local numbers to do their ‘robo’ calls so more people will be inclined to answer the calls.

It’s just so sad. I used to have a bit of fun with them years ago. Remember when the ‘siding’ people would call and see if a person wanted siding on their home to replace wood? I used to tell them I had no need for that because I lived in a ‘glass’ house. They had no response to that line!

This isn’t nice but I was young and I suppose a bit cocky. My roommate and I got so tired of telling people that we were not the neighborhood pizza joint. Our phone number was one digit off from the pizza place. This was way before cell phones. It was our house phone. Anyway, I just starting taking the pizza orders because we got so many calls from them! But it backfired sometimes when they would call back screaming wanting to know what happened to their pizza. No wonder nowadays pizza delivery places ask for names, phone numbers and address to confirm orders, right? Everything is loaded now into a computer. Hahaha

Now when I don’t recognize a number I just let it go to voicemail. If it is important they will leave a message.

Occasionally, I will get solicitors at my front door. Those really drive me nuts. I don’t answer. When my daughter was a baby it never failed, I would just put her down for a nap and someone would ring my bell. I put a sign over the bell stating the bell was broken.

Now I have a doorbell with a camera so I can clearly see who is approaching my house. I never open my door to someone I don’t know.
mally1 Oct 2019
Smart. I keep my outside glass door locked, too, and talk through it (with the dog barking her head off next to me), It paid off with a fake salesperson who said he wasn't afraid of dogs, and tried to jerk open the door - ha ha! Just then around the corner came my husband.... thank You, Lord!
97yroldmom Sep 2019
What you are saying seems true yet AARP reported that 90% of the people who scam elders ARE family and friends. Seems incredible.

And it seems that many are scammed regardless of age. Malcolm Gladwells new book out this month “Talking to Strangers: What We Should Know about the People We Don't Know” reports how difficult it is for most of us to know who is honest and who isn’t.

Rosered6 Sep 2019
This article won't necessarily answer your question, but I think it provides some good information about personality traits that make some people more likely to be scammed.

https://www.aarp.org/money/scams-fraud/info-2019/vulnerable-to-fraud.html

AlvaDeer Sep 2019
Do I ever wish I knew. The only thing I can think of is, you know how you never listen to family about anything, and then a friend say something similar or an article goes, or your doc does and you are right on for it?
There is also that thing of Americans always believing we can be a winner. We will win this lotto.
There is a lot to be said for thinking we are helping. It was a shock to me when I did the charity check things, found out what they spent on ads, and what they gave to vets. Often nothing more than a birdhouse. A cheap one at that. That was how they supposedly helped them to heal.
It is sad. We are all so vulnerable, and we tend I think to become more so. Seniors are often scammed by people who will spend time with them on the phone, feeding their need to be loved, treasured, revered. While their kids are just yelling at them about being scammed!
It's a problem. I think seniors are so very vulnerable. There is a new one out there now that calls and tells them that their social security checks won't be direct deposited anymore unless they call and "provide information". And of course, they DO.
Yikes.
cherokeegrrl54 Sep 2019
Yes my mom and i both have received those calls. So have quite a few others here in the apt complex we live in....such a shame!

ADVERTISEMENT

Ask a Question

Subscribe to
Our Newsletter