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Laceysterror Asked August 2019

My life sucks right now; How can I help my mother other than just being there for her?

My father and my uncle are in the VA hospital together. My father is doing ok, hates the food and all that crap, but my Uncle is dying slowly. He's in pain and wants to die. They have him on medication but he's giving up on life, which I can't blame him. Thing is, I'm terribly worried about my mother. She lost her sister many years ago but she still had her two brothers. Uncle Doug just died not even 6 months ago and now my Uncle Joe is on the verge of dying any day now. I don't know how to help my mother, it's literally breaking my heart because my mom has lost and is losing her brothers. How can I help my mother other than just being there for her? I am just so overwhelmed with everything and I just can't figure out how to help my mom and I'm dying inside because of it. What do I do?

polarbear Aug 2019
Lacey - the best thing you can do for her is what you're already doing, being there for her. She is going through a difficult time and it will be stressful for her. And the same for you, too. There is no magic pill to make everything better quickly. Just take it one day at a time.

As to what else you can do, it depends on what your mother needs. Have you asked her?

You said you are so overwhelmed. So, perhaps, it's you that need some support. Can you join a local support group? Check with the hospital where your uncle is at. They should have information on grieve counseling for family members.

Ahmijoy Aug 2019
Lacey, I’m so sorry this is happening to your family. Is there anyone you can talk to like a religious leader, or even a therapist? Your mom needs you to be strong for her right now. Talk therapy works. Sending you peace and hugs.

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Isthisrealyreal Aug 2019
Lacey, you can stay healthy and strong, take care of you. That is the best gift you can give your mom.

I am sorry that you are facing so much. I pray that your uncle finds peace and comfort during his passing. Have you asked anyone why he is being allowed to be in pain. This could help your mom as well, it is painful to watch our loved ones die in pain.

Hugs!

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