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Doglover35 Asked June 2019

How can I take care of my feeble husband if I myself have my own health issues?

My husband is 86 and I am 84. He suffered two strokes in the past (fortunately he was not paralyzed but was left with several impairments, among them weak legs and some dementia). He can hardly walk with the help of a rollator. Our insurance is providing him with some home care (2 hours every day) which has come in handy especially to help him get a shower and other small things I have had 3 knee replacement surgery and suffer from rheumatoid artritis and lupus, but I still can take care of myself although I have to put up with pain and weakness. I still drive but it has become very hard for me to take him places especially loading and unloading the walker from the car. We go out on Sundays to church and I take him to doctors' visits but I feel that it is getting harder and harder for me to help him. I need to hold the doors open for him, and since he walks so slowly it makes me feel very tired, especially helping him to sit down and stand up, and I know it will get harder every day. I don't know if there's any type of service for seniors where I could call on the days we need to go out for someone to come and go with us and help me with the walker, help him walk, sit down and stand up, etc. and hold the doors open for us. It would have to be provided free or at a low cost because our only income is what we get from Social Security. Does anyone know of such a service?

97yroldmom Jun 2019
Here is a website for your Area Agency on Aging.
Call them and ask they come evaluate your husband for any services available.
Do this on Wednesday. Don’t put it off. They can help.

http://riocog.org/AAA/aaa.htm

Doglover35 Jun 2019
I really appreciate all your suggestions and ideas. I will try to find the help I need following them. Thanks again

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notrydoyoda Jun 2019
There are agencies who can provide caregivers at a fee. You sound remarkable for all that you are dealing with.

You mentioned church. Does it have any kind of ministry that would help you like with meals, small jobs around the house like changing a light bulb or filter as well as to come by and visit? My church does all of those things . I've known some churches whose men's groups build wheel chair ramps for people free.

What does your financial situation look like? Do either or both of you have long term care. What money might you have left over if any?

Would assisted living be in the picture financially?

What does your doctor suggest for each of you?

Do need to look into spending down to qualify for medicaid at some point?

Where are, if any, your child(ren) in relation to all of this?

Like I said, you are remarkable! I wish you the best and hope others will respond.

anonymous896861 Jun 2019
Can you contact high schools near you that have students fulfilling community service hours? I know school’s out for summer but there might be students fulfilling their volunteer hours during the summer.
cetude Jun 2019
I don't like that idea because you don't know who you are bringing into your home and someone may claim to get injured on your property and sue. You seriously cannot trust anybody these days and a lot of young people are into drugs so they steal.
Isthisrealyreal Jun 2019
Doglover Google TxDOT and give them a call.

Your city is large enough that they should have services available for handicapped transportation.

Let us know how it works out and please feel free to hang out and chat and help others with your wisdom.

Hugs!

cara77 Jun 2019
Start with your church! There are usually specific people in charge of arranging visits to people in need of assistance- Churches used to take care of the elderly & ill but then the government stepped in & turned it into big- business. Please reach out to your pastors, this is what they are dedicated to. Blessings to you & your husband, you will be ok!!

Treeartist Jun 2019
Good evening, Doglover,

Call your local Area Agency on Aging to get plugged into their services. I know we were able to get two hours a day, four days a week for my parents, which was provided free. You might have to do some planning to coordinate your doctor visits or other outings during this time.

Does your church have any transportation on Sunday mornings? I am aware that smaller churches might not be able to provide this service, but perhaps you could call them and explain your difficulties. They may be able to help with getting your husband in and out of the car.

If finances permit, check into a professional caregivers company like Home Instead. We used them for 15 or 16 years to supplement caregiving of our parents. The Area Agency on Aging can probably give you more information on finding a reliable company.

Doglover35 Jun 2019
Thank you for your reply and kind words. We belong to a very small church and there are no ministries like you mention.
We have two children, but our son lives abroad and is completely engulfed in his own personal and family things. Our daughter is very caring and helps us a lot, but she has her own issues and problems herself.
Assisted living and long term care are out of the question financially for us. Therefore, our only possibility is getting whatever help is available for seniors, whatever is affordable in our condition.
golden23 Jun 2019
What about medicaid for covering the costs of a facility
notrydoyoda Jun 2019
I can't imagine how frightful it must be to outlive your savings and retirement money. Can or will your son help you two some with some extra money?

Isthisrealyreal Jun 2019
Contact your local department of transportation and find out if they have free or discounted transportation for seniors or disabled.

In Tucson you can call the day before and schedule a ride for 2 dollars, some disabilities are qualifying for one person and a companion for them. They also offer steeply discounted taxi services.

I hope this helps.

I wonder if you could find a lighter walker for dear hubby to use for outings.

Larger churches have medical equipment for loan or gifts.

God bless you for all you do.

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