My mother won't turn over control or POA to me or my brother, nor would she agree to pay for services or agree to be moved. What do we do?

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J

jcox5735 Asked June 2019

My mother won't turn over control or POA to me or my brother, nor would she agree to pay for services or agree to be moved. What do we do?

My mom has alienated everyone in her life. We haven't asked, but she wouldn't agree to pay for care, even if someone comes to her place (yes she has it, she just won't admit it). She also refuses to keep up daily chores so she can't maintain any reasonable quality of life for herself BY herself. We have saved her from eviction twice already and she's letting her place go again. She would not be cooperative either if the subject of POA were brought up. My brother and I need help. She's not making clear decisions or judgments so we're very concerned for her mental health. We need to know what control we can assume on her behalf, if she is not agreeable. Can we take over her care & finances if she refuses to allow us to help? We feel so helpless. We don't know what to do :(

Elder Law Mental Health Refusing Care

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score 0 · Answer 1

Go to an attorney, he/she will guide you. You can apply for guardianship as she is not capable of making sound decisions.

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I should ave said that I did this for my cousin in TN, it cost me $700.

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score 0 · Answer 2

This article has an outline of the process for having someone declared incompetent / gaining guardianship over another person:

https://blogs.findlaw.com/law_and_life/2013/09/legal-how-to-declaring-someone-incompetent.html

As JoAnn said... likely to be expensive due to needing a lawyer to guide you through the legal process.

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score 1 · Answer 3

If ur Mom is declared incompetent you will not be able to get POA. She has to be able to assign it.

You will need guardianship but that is expensive. I think you can use her money for it.

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score 3 · Answer 4

You can call your local Area Agency on Aging and discuss the situation with them. They can try to do a needs assessment, but mom is within her rights to refuse help unless she has been declared incompetent.

You may need to wait until she has a serious fall or illness that sends her to the hospital. When that happens, you talk to the discharge planners about what the conditions are like at her home and that there is no one to help her there.

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Oh Barb, thank you so much, you've been most helpful. I will call the local agency. I didn't even know who to call to get started. I understand about her rights, completely. How is one declared incompetent? Do you happen to know that?

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My mother won't turn over control or POA to me or my brother, nor would she agree to pay for services or agree to be moved. What do we do?

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