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Sibby58 Asked April 2019

Can/should I use Mom’s money to pay for security cameras in my home?

Mom, 96, lives with me and my husband. She’s currently in rehab after mini stroke. It’s been mentioned by staff about having 24/7 care when she gets home. We are gone about 5 hours M-F from morning to early afternoon. I think insurance will pay for a small portion of the care, she will be responsible for the rest. But would it be appropriate for us to use her money to pay for cameras in our home, because we are not comfortable?

Sibby58 Apr 2019
Lifetime occupancy with house purchase.

At this point it looks like she will be coming home in a couple weeks. I figure we have to try it. No cameras for now.

Yes, I’d rather she go to a nursing home. Don’t even know where I’d start that conversation, and likely get backlash from siblings. Just taking things one day at a time.

BarbBrooklyn Apr 2019
Slibby, your mom has been living with you since she was 57?

Was mom a non-negotiable part of the house purchase?

I can understand why, never having had the privacy of your own marital home, the idea of caregivers being there as well might push me over the edge.

To me, when the doctors said mom needed round the clock care and supervision, that meant a staff of folks looking after her. Aides, med techs, nurses, docs, psychiatrists, podiatrists, dentists, audiologists. All in one place.

It was not perfect. But we got to sleep at night.

Can she transition to being a long term care patient at the facility she's currently in?

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Countrymouse Apr 2019
You want to install cameras to supervise caregivers?

H'm. You could argue it either way, I suppose. The supervision is needed to ensure her care is being delivered as it ought to be (mother's cost). It is also there to provide additional peace of mind for you and protection for your home and its contents (your cost).

But continuous monitoring of the people you have entrusted with your mother's care is not the best start to the relationship. What are you uncomfortable about, especially?

JoAnn29 Apr 2019
I can't see a problem since u wouldn't be doing it if not for Mom and the cost wouldn't be questioned by Medicaid if it isn't thousands of dollars.

Grandma1954 Apr 2019
I think this would depend on how long will Mom be able to live with you.
If you plan on this being long term the cameras will help a bit for the time you are gone. But with "age related decline" as you say in your profile I am wondering if this is normal aging or is it Vascular Dementia, Alzheimer's or both?
If it is Dementia of some sort she will need more than cameras to keep her safe. Either someone there 24/7/365 or placement in Memory Care Facility.
L84dinner Apr 2019
Not Dementia or Alzheimer’s, some minor forgetfulness. She’s cognitively pretty with it. The cameras would be to keep an eye on caregivers. We’ve never had any before, and not thrilled with the idea of strangers possibly snooping around.
lynnm12 Apr 2019
Keep her safe. Whatever that takes. And, took us a long time to get this, but if you are considering cameras? Maybe find other caretakers. Been there, just so you know.

worriedinCali Apr 2019
I think you should use your money but I suspect most other responders will disagree with that.
L84dinner Apr 2019
Thank you for your honest opinion. We have decided we will use OUR money if we get cameras. I think I was feeling anxious, and more than a little resentful about the whole situation.

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