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anonymous834358 Asked March 2019

Ok to take Mom home for a day of Holiday Celebration?

In a NH. She "thinks" she will be moving from there to another facility like an apartment or assisted living. She wont be. We brought her home for a Thanksgiving meal and it went fine. After she returned to NH, she began to press the issue as to "when is she going to the other home."


The NH staff suggests we should take her out to restaurants, etc, but NOT to our home because it may be stimulating her desire to leave.


It bothers me NOT to have her for a holiday meal.


Thoughts ???

JoAnn29 Mar 2019
I agree. They are like small children. They don't understand why they can't go. As my Moms Dementia progressed, being out for more than an hour overwhelmed her. In Church, people overwhelmed her. They would come and hug her and talk and she would just sit there the rest of the hour. She didn't even enjoy going out anymore. It was more me wanting to get her out.

Your Mom may have been fine for TGiving but has she declined since then. Six months can make a big difference in a Dementia brain.

LoopyLoo Mar 2019
I'm inclined to agree with the NH staff. Plus as alz/dementia progresses, it becomes vital to have an established routine. Taking them out of it for even an afternoon can take a long time to recover. We had the same issue with my husband's grandmother. After we'd take her anyplace she'd forget what town she was in, was this her room, etc. It was doing her more harm than good.

Why not take the meal to her? Does the NH have a dining area where you can have a small gathering? Surely there's a way to bring the party to her, so to speak.

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