My mom has a good mind, but her body makes it near impossible for her to live alone. If I had the money, of course I would move her to a senior apartment with a full time nurse. But I don't. And I am not going to give up the next 20 to 30 years of my life being her nurse. Im sorry, I'm not that type of person and I am too young.
Maybe someday when I DO have money (from spending my life working rather than being a nurse) I can change her living situation.
She calls me all the time telling me how awful it is there. How some old lady down the hall screams all day. How the staff don't pay good enough attention. How she doesn't have any money....
I feel bad but what can I do? buy lottery tickets while I try to build my career? A lot of misfortunes, bad decisions, and general bad luck led her and my dad to have not a single penny and horrible health - a lot of those issues affected my childhood and yes, I am resentful.
I just feel so bad for her, but I'm done picking up after her. As far as I can see, she can either make the best of her situation or... be bitter about it. I've talked with professionals and with my mom's many siblings, and we all just think she's better off in the NH even though she's unhappy. How awful is that?
There has to be solution but I don't see one and really neither does anyone else except my mom who wants to be out on her own even if it means certain demise from falling or god forbid what else.
Just kind of hopeless right now. Please don't judge me. I was my mom's nurse for several weeks after my first year of college and she was WAY better then, and it was not good for either of us both mentally and with physical safety.