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Gwen0421 Asked December 2018

How do I add myself to my Mom's POA? She is too confused to grant me this power, and my sister who is the POA will not help.

rovana Dec 2018
Only mom can change her POA, assuming she is competent to do so.  If she is not, then you have to go for guardianship, but your sister can contest.  Then there is a good chance of the judge appointing someone outside the family as guardian.  Is these an urgent reason to challenge your sister? Much better to work together for Mom's welfare if you possibly can.

gladimhere Dec 2018
Sister cannot add you to POA. Mom is the only one that could have done that, most likely, at the time the POA was prepared.

What kind of help?

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JoAnn29 Dec 2018
POA has to be assigned and Mom can't do that. What do you mean sister won't help? In her care? As POA she doesn't have to participate in her care. She is responsible for the finances. Making sure the bills are paid and if not physically involved, making sure those caring for Mom have enough money to do it. She is the one who will be involved with the doctors and nurses if Mom is hospitalized. She will also be responsible for signing papers and getting Mom LTC. But physically involved no. Her responsibility is to carry out Moms wishes.

If she is not fullfilling these tasks, then she shouldn't be POA. Guardianship is the only way to go from here. And Medicaid allows Moms money to be used for this. Hope sister doesn't think POA allows her to use Moms money for her personally, it doesn't. And at time of death, POA stops and Executor takes over if there is a will.
Gwen0421 Dec 2018
Thank you for your insight. I am concerned that my sister's intentions are not in our mothers best interest. ie: frivolous spending, and a lack of understanding of dementia. I was shocked to find that our Mom chose to list her solely as the poa, as I have a medical degree & have spent most of my life working in geriatrics. And my relationship with my Mom has always been a good one.
anonymous594015 Dec 2018
I don't think you can. All you can do now is get guardianship. If a court finds your mother is incapable of making her own decisions, they can appoint a guardian. However, since your mom has already chosen your sister as Power of Attorney, the court will give her preference when choosing a guardian. If she doesn't want the POA anymore or if she does not want to be a guardian, you might be appointed.

What is it that you need a power of attorney to do?
Gwen0421 Dec 2018
Thank you! I will be speaking with an attorney who works in elder law, and will now ask her about the process of guardianship! That is a wonderful idea. I simply want to make sure that Mom is well taken care of, and that I can rightfully do everything possible to make every day a good one for her.
anonymous444729 Dec 2018
Not sure you can be added at this point. Somehow your sister IS the POA, and this is usually set up ahead of time.

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