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Curious2late Asked August 2018

I'm wondering if an adult child of a dying patient can decide to have a trach removed?

My mother died almost 11 years ago when I was 14 years old. My older sister told me that my mother died of respiratory arrest but she also signed a DNR. My mother and my sister feuded a lot throughout life and I'm now wondering if my sister would've been allowed to pull the plug on my mother without her consent?

Curious2late Aug 2018
Yeah, you're right. I have enough to worry about. But it's hard because my life wouldn't even be like this if my mom hadn't died. And I want to know if my sissy did this to me. If she did she's not gonna be my sister anymore. That kind of destroyed my life.

gladimhere Aug 2018
Eleven years ago? How old was mom? How old were you? If sis had a POA, yes she can make that decision but not without a doctor's recommendation or approval. What brings this up now? Has this been haunting you for eleven years? I would check into therapy.
Curious2late Aug 2018
When she died I was only told it was due to respiratory arrest but my sister did sign a DNR. My sister hated my mom though. But one of my friends recently just told me that her aunt died because someone decided to remove her trach. So I started thinkin that maybe my mom was dying but my sister killed her sooner. Thanks for your response though.

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Isthisrealyreal Aug 2018
The doctors would not have removed the trachea if there was any hope for your mom to recover.

Can you imagine how hard that decision was on your sister?

Sometimes when we have to do things or make decisions that we don't want to, it causes us such anguish that we seem hard to others in our reactions, as we are trying not to collapse because of the weight of the responsibility.

Try to move on and have a beautiful life for your moms sake if you can't do it for your own.

Fighting between mother and daughter dates back to Adam and Eves 1st daughter, it doesn't mean they didn't love and care greatly for each other. When you have a daughter you to will experience the truth of this.
Curious2late Aug 2018
My sister hated my mom. My mom was dying but the last time I saw her, 3 days before she died she promised me she would fight and I know she meant it. She never would've agreed to be have her trach removed. And she wouldn't have wanted my sister to sign a DNR either which my sister did.
anonymous594015 Aug 2018
It must have been very hard to lose your mother so young. Do you have someone you can talk to? I don't think it's the best use of your life to spend any time at all wondering about this.

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