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JulesNeedsHelp Asked June 2018

My mom broke her knee cap and lives in an apt upstairs she needs rehab but wants to live with me, I have POA. Can I use it to make her go?

baskethill1 Jun 2018
She might just be worried about doing her stairs and spending the first few days alone. Maybe you can help with that and she wont have to move in

JulesNeedsHelp Jun 2018
Thanks everyone, your answers really helped me and gave me comfort in the fact that I had someone to help/ listen. I am holding strong but not sure what the outcome will be. She went kicking and screaming and then called me tonight to threaten to call the police to get her out of there. I feel so helpless. Once she can get up and walkish, go to the bathroom and feed herself. I told her she could go home and get PT to come to her as well as a couple hours of a caretaker. But until she can do those things. There is no choices.

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JoAnn29 Jun 2018
Can she get in home therapy?

HolidayEnd Jun 2018
I hate rehab too but after the pain and effort and days of soreness, it’s so much easier to get around, therefore the danger of falling, injuring a new area and increased strength and balance are the payoffs.

Tell her everyone hates PT because it’s WORK. But she’ll want to use that kneecap later!!!

Countrymouse Jun 2018
Unless your mother is mentally incompetent you can't use your POA to overrule her, no.

But 97yom makes the key point, that you don't need POA to decide who moves in with you.

And, besides, there are lots of other things you can use to persuade your mother to go to rehab, like common sense, reassurance, and explanations of what is best for her.

For example. Are you a trained, experienced Physical Therapist? Do you know what exercises will get her knee healed and functioning quickest? Are there at least two of you?

The point being of course - and forgive me if I sound flippant, just trying to lighten the mood and relieve stress - that rehab is the place with the right staff, equipment and facilities to get her leg working and, even more importantly, restore her *confidence* when it comes to mobility. You just don't have the wherewithal to provide this.

Has your mother had a difficult encounter with PTs or their like before? Is it more that she is nervous about rehab and doesn't want to go, or feeling (understandably) sorry for herself and wanting to cling to you?

97yroldmom Jun 2018
You don’t need a POA to tell someone they can’t move in.
If she is competent she can go wherever she likes regardless of the POA.  But it’s still your house. 
I read online that it can take up to 8 weeks to heal, is very painful and weight shouldn’t be put on it.
I would think she needs the rehab to learn how to get around properly regardless of where she goes to recover. Best to do that in a rehab.
This is very important for your future relationship. If you have accepted the responsibilities of being her POA then you need her to work with you. When the doctor recommends rehab then rehab it is. It is not practical for her to expect you to be a hands on caretaker when she has other choices. As it is, she will probably be discharged before the knee is 100%.
Hold firm. Don’t set the precedent that you are going to stop your life to manage hers when she has other choices. If she didn’t have a choice that would be something to consider. Also an apt without stairs might be in order.

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