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Homebody Asked April 2018

What to do about my 87 yr old Mother who talks excessively and controls the conversation?

I ask her to take a break while I was trying to cook dinner for the family and she got furious and told me I’m mean.... my husband & I can’t even have a conversation without her wanting to be in the middle of it! We now live together since my Dad died 2+ years ago... she is hard of hearing, has cancer & low vision! We feel like we have very little time alone to even talk in our own home!

Sunnygirl1 Apr 2018
It's difficult to change behavior in seniors. I get how it's frustrating. Sometimes, I don't even bother, because they talk and interrupt. But, since this is your house, you can establish some boundaries. Can you set up a sitting room for you and husband away from her? You can explain that you are respecting HER privacy, so she can have some time alone.

97yroldmom Apr 2018
I know people like that who aren’t 87 with cancer, low vision and hard of hearing! It’s very annoying I’m sure.
Has she always been this way? The one I’m thinking of has been. Lots of “ do you know what i means” scattered throughout as well.

My family always try’s to never ask her a question as she will just go on and on. It’s a vexation to the spirit.

Ask your mom to please allow you and your husband this time alone to visit. Or try to take a walk with husband. It’s obvioudly difficult for all of you to blend your family but I think we sometimes need to put a bit more effort in addressing these needs when they occur rather than allowing it to go on and on until we find we are being aggravated.

And then also take the time to sit and visit with your mom.

With her vision and hearing problems it might be hard for her to be as receptive to social cues as you’d like her to be.

It’s always good to have boundaries.

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