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I had spoken to my dad about this, caring for him, for a year or so before he needed me. When he was in rehab my sibs and family assumed he was never coming home amd had made plans for assisted living.
When they found out I was bringing him home, at first some said O.K. We will help. The nursing home was releasing him with or without me. He can't live alone so I said OK when he asked. Evidently I ruined plans of looting and some had already started. Grandkids included. I live 2 hours away, they live here. By accident I found out what was going on. I caught one member filling a box. Anyway, some how I am the bad guy. I ruined their plans, swooped in, and took control of all assets, etc. So they even disclude you from holidays, and don't visit Dad because they are mad at me. It hurts, it adds to burnout. I can't believe none of them have even visited. Except my brother. He does what he is able. Makes me sad, to watch dad suffer. I offered it to anyone who wanted it. TY for this site.

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Don't get me started on my siblings. Occasionally I'll bring up one of the numerous stories with my Husband about their callous treatment of me and their selfishness during my Mom's final years. Just today, I was reminded of something my brother had done and as soon as I got to talking about it I could feel myself getting red in the face and my stomach getting tied into knots about it. I just have to let it go cause remembering it just puts me in a tizzy. Suffice it to say that my opinions of my siblings will never go back to what they once were. A bunch of ingrates!

It would have been my Mom's Birthday the other day and I sent an e-mail out saying something about it and that we should all get together and have a picnic in May at the bench we dedicated to her in her favorite park. Two of my sibs responded. But the others, not a word. But really, what was I expecting. They disappeared when Mom most needed them and why would anything be different now.
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It's not just you. I thought Dad's death 2 months ago would change things. It didn't.
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Oh, yes. I'm there with you, though there was no stealing involved. I don't know how long you've been on this site, but there are loads of threads basically like yours. Bottom line: it's not you. It's them. I hope your dad is grateful to you for your sacrifice.

I encourage you to emotionally step back from those people. That's what I had to do (or I'm still trying anyway). I keep my own counsel and keep doing what's right by Mom. I only communicate with my siblings when I have to and try to keep it on Mom. It's helped.
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SuzieQ, you have made them feel bad. If they don't have any contact with you, they can tell themselves without fear of contradiction that they have done nothing wrong and your worries are your own doing, and they feel better about everything. That's the why of it.

I had one sibling acting as though information was imposing a guilt trip on him, simultaneously another accusing me of being secretive if I didn't answer questions she hadn't asked, while the third ignored messages altogether. Note: I am no longer in contact with these people. If you have relationships you want to preserve, you might want to work harder than I was prepared to.

At least they're not getting in your way! Welcome all approaches, don't be deterred from contacting them if you want or need to, and waste no time worrying about what they think.
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Oh Golden, there is NOTHING like a critical narc when it comes to sheerest chutzpah! You put me in mind of my (absent) SIL sniffing over my ex's girlfriend being "terribly lazy" about childcare.

#1 I wouldn't expect the girlfriend to spend her precious vacation time running around after *my ex's* children, why the heck should she?
#2 It wasn't the girlfriend who dumped her three year old on me, knowing full well I had deadlines to meet, so she could go shopping for two days, was it?

I expect your sister is extremely dedicated when it comes to spotting all your shortcomings. What a wonderful caring daughter she must be.
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How sad! Good for you for stopping the low-lifes from swiping his stuff. As you can see from this site family do all sorts of rotten things. I'm so glad your dad has you in his court.
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OK. So, the thieves sneaked in and about to steal your valuables when you came upon them and caught them red handed. They retreated empty handed and hated you for spoiling their thieving plan. Of course, they hated you. And since they hate you, they don't want to face you because that will just remind them of what scums they are. So they avoid you and make you the bad guy that way they can live with themselves.

If they had any remorse for what they did, they would apologize. But don't hold your breath waiting for an apology. They won't come to help. Most likely, they are waiting for the next opportunity to loot again. So, you should focus your energy on protecting your father's assets legally. Go talk to a lawyer.
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My mother appointed me POA, much to my sister's surprise and dismay. Sis had plans to move mother close the her and get all the inheritance. Sis has been very critical of me, and claims I do little for mother. She should try it. I have been tempted to drop out and let her, as secondary, take over, but I could not do that even to my worst enemy. . She does visit mother, but my concern and mother's has been that she has an agenda regarding mother's money, I still would not be surprised if she accuses me of mismanaging mother's money for my benefit. I have spent $1000's of my own money on mother's care. Sis complained when once she spent $10.00 for mother, yet sis has lots of her own money. I am quite happy to not have help. I just don't want the criticism.
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When my parents came to live with me 4 years ago, all of there other children stopped all communications with me and them. Except one brother who calls every now and again when I ask him to give her a call on birthdays and moms day etc. But he never visits and never calls her on his own.
The rest however never call never visit and even when my dad passed away a little over a year ago, not a word from them. I feel so sad for my Mom. the issue is theirs.
Press on. Stay strong, do the right thing and pray a lot.
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