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klarson102 Asked April 2018

My father has been gone for 4 weeks. Mother is walking the floor at night looking for Dad. Should I be concerned?

Mom is 88.

bicycler Apr 2018
Hope your mom has something treatable, otherwise she may be getting close to needing more care than senior independent living provides, i.e. at least assisted living and maybe memory care.

My parents were married for 67 years and had become very dependent on each other. We children began noticing some cognitive decline in my dad about 18 years ago, but it accelerated with my mom's illness in her last year and even more after her death. Eight months ago I moved him into memory care after his care needs had become too exhausting for me to continue providing his care in my home. He adjusted very well, doesn't remember ever living with me or anywhere else except his childhood home and he's comfortable and safe. During my daily visits, he sometimes he thinks I'm his dad or one of his brothers and other times he calls me by my name, but he's always wants to go "home" and is usually looking for his mom and/or his wife.

klarson102 Apr 2018
SugarCreekPups. Mom is almost 88. They were married for 69 years. She lives in independent living where nursing staff is spread extremely thin.

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bicycler Apr 2018
klarson102, possibly your mother is in at least mid-stage dementia, but maybe not. In either case, if she is living independently, her health and safety may be at risk. Her cognitive level should probably be evaluated by a physician, along with getting blood work done to see if there is a treatable condition or deficiency that is the cause, e.g. UTIs sometimes cause dementia-like symptoms.

My 96-year-old dad with late-stage Alzheimer's dementia often wonders around looking for his dad who died 50 years ago, his mother who died 30 years ago, or my mother who died 8 years ago.

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