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kellydb Asked March 2018

Mom has no legal paperwork in order, what can I do?

My mom has a lung disease and on oxygen full time. I have discussed with her several times that we need a will or medical power of attorney, at least. I even have the power of attorney paperwork that needs signed and notarized. She has a house and car in her name and I have paid 50% of the house every month for ten years and recently started helping with car note. I just wonder how my investment in the home can be safe when God forbid, she passes. I know we need to have some paperwork in order, but she doesn't like discussing it. I don't like bringing it up, but I need to protect all the money I've put in this mortgage. Any advice, tips, or comments are welcome!!

freqflyer Mar 2018
kellydb, sometimes we have to use "theraputic fibs" to get our parent to do what is best for them. My parents did have a Will and a Power of Attorney but both legal documents were older then dirt. The way the Will was written would have been a nightmare.

So I fibbed to Dad saying that he and Mom's Wills were so out-of-date due to newer State laws that half of his estate would go to the government. Next thing I knew Dad wanted me to set up an appointment with an Attorney, thus I choose an "Elder Law Attorney". Whew, got everything updated and signed just in time.

GardenArtist Mar 2018
Kelly, how does the title (deed) to the house read? Is it your mother and you jointly?

Is your mother getting Medicaid?

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Sunnygirl1 Mar 2018
You might get some specific input on this around here, but, I would say to consult with an Elder Law attorney about it, because if your mom needs Medicaid, later on, there could be repercussions on how you set things up, transfer, change deeds, titles, etc. Sometimes, what seems right could have implications you hadn't anticipated.

Is she competent to sign a Durable POA? But, if she's refusing, I'm not sure you have any options, unless she's incompetent, and then you can inquire about Gardianship. My parents were hesitant, until they talked to a good friend who was so proud that she had signed everything and put her affairs in order.  She encouraged them to do it, as it freed her mind and now she didn't have to worry about how her affairs would be handled.  In just a few days, I said I was scheduling the signing at the attorney's office and they said fine and it was done. 

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