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vishdubai Asked March 2018

My father is in a depression since one year ago. I am worried. Is it only depression or something else?

He used to read newspaper, watch TV and go out, now he only eats, drinks and sleeps nothing else. I am worried. Is it only depression or something else? He is on antidepressant since last year.

Rosses003 Mar 2018
ThePlains please do share. Most elder loved ones suffer from depression and it’s one of the hardest parts to help them with. My mom herself is deeply, deeply depressed and seems unreachable. About the scriptures and God, all I can tell you without the shadow of a doubt is that I know if I didn’t get strength from Him, I’d be nothing. This is a very hard path we’re having to walk, caregivers and loved ones, it’s a path tougher than our human mental, emotional and physical capabilities. He is the only one that we can trust will carry us during and after our mission.

ThePlains18 Mar 2018
I dont know about the scripture, but my Mom is deeply depressed, all her life, only more so since losing my father. We are working with geriatric psychiatrist, geriatrician, and looking for a good talk therapist. I love this ridiculous lady so much that I have and will do anything I can figure out. I hope for weeks, months, years of peace, since whe certwinly deserves it. As do we ALL. I will post any ideas and thoughts we come across.

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smeshque Mar 2018
Thank you Rosses, It was a lot of scripture. And I do love them so much, I would do anything for them, especially anything to help spiritually, as that what truly matters.
Thank you for your kind words.
Much love in Him.

anonymous439773 Mar 2018
I would suggest that he be evaluated by a geriatric psychiatrist. This person can do a complete mental health evaluation and also review his medical records. He can supervise his mental health medications. There may be a suggestion of therapy if the psychiatrist believes this to be necessary.

JoAnn29 Mar 2018
Has his potassium checked. Dad was in a depression for 3 yrs when he had to find a cardiologist. The cardiologist found he had a potassium deficency.

Rosses003 Mar 2018
Smeshque,

You typed up a good portion of the Bible for your dad?
I’m speechless.

Wow, what a good child you’ve been to your parents! And I’m sure typing it up probably gave you plenty of blessings, as you were reminded of all those beautiful lessons Christ gave us and left us with to guide us through life.

Amazing gift to your dad and also amazing all you’ve done to help him and your mom to feel able. I’m sure your dad felt great cutting up all the wood to keep his family warm!

Loved your post. It’s a true testimony of love!

smeshque Mar 2018
Rosses is right. When I moved my Dad here, he would say things like that. He couldn't see very well anymore, but we read the bible daily. So I typed him up a 24 font copy of the bible. I finished all of the new testament and part of the old. He was able to read again.
He also was quite an active person, before age slowed him down. I figured out things like, we have birds and I would by corn on cob for squirrels and he would sit and shelled the corn from the cob, for his pigeons. Also, he was a bird man, and so I found an auction, where he could buy and sell, birds. I bought him an electric chainsaw, because it was light weight, and i would bring trees and limbs up to the house from the woods. Put them on a saw horse, and hold them for him to cut. He would have to take many breaks but we would get it done. He cut all the wood to heat the house his first winter here.
we would take him fishing, even though had to bait, cast, and help reel.
I just learned his interest and tried to accommodate anything he wanted to do.
Maybe there are some interests of your Dads that you can help him do. Did he use to have hobbies? I am sure if you think really hard about it, there is something that would spark his interest again. What I am learning about elderly, is that they all go through this feeling of uselessness. I now know this and try and keep my mom busy with the things she can do, so she feels useful. but I still once in a while hear such comments.
May God bless you and help you find resolve.

Rosses003 Mar 2018
So that’s the problem, if he keeps saying he feels useless then that’s a big part of the reason why he’s depressed.

You don’t provide too much information about your/his family situation. Are you the only person caring for him? Are there other relatives that can help coming up with a plan, as a family, with ideas of things for him to do, or to give him a more active role in the family, so he feels he has a purpose. We all need a purpose in life, a reason to wake up and a goal to fulfill each day.

When one losses the ability to find that purpose, it’s important to get help from relatives and friends, as well as medical help.

My mom has a huge problem dealing with that, specially because although she tries to do things to feel useful, she’s a lot of health limitations. If your dad is in good general physical shape, he probably needs someone to help him feel useful again..That along with adequate depression meds should do the trick.

I hope you can count on others to help you help your dad, but if not, try to think of what could make him feel useful again, and do all you can to help him find his purpose again. Also make sure his medication is adjusted appropriately.

vishdubai Mar 2018
He lost interest before taking the medicines, and yes he keep on saying I am useless I have not done anything in life etc...

smeshque Mar 2018
I agree with 97yearoldmom.

Did he lose interest before taking the medicine or did he start this lack of interest when he began taking meds?

Rosses003 Mar 2018
Hi vishdubai,

Depression is not uncommon when it comes to elderly people as they really have plenty of reasons to be depressed, starting with physical limitations, illnesses and ending with loneliness and so, so many other emotional and mental reasons. But definitely he needs to be reassessed to ensure there’s nothing else physical that’s causing his depression. Hopefully he’s willing to be seen by a doctor (a new one if necessary!).

Also, you mentioned that several doctors keep saying that the prescribed medication is appropriate..yet a medication that is NOT working is therefore NOT appropriate!

It takes a lot of trial and error to find the appropriate dosis or type of medication or combination of medicines for depression to find what works! Any doctor truly invested in your dads situation should be on top of that and making sure they keep trying until something works. Also, they should be reviewing what other medication he is taking to ensure there is no conflict between those medicines and the depression medication.

Lastly, have you talked to your dad to try to find out what makes him sad? Maybe that simple question can answer all your worries. Maybe he feels lonely, he might be far away from friends, or the only elderly in your household and surroundings. Maybe he feels useless..there are so many possible reasons! But start by lovingly asking him. If you don’t get an enlightening answer just tell him you love him, and you’ll always be there for him.

Please keep us posted, but please don’t allow the situation to just keep going in whatever direction. You are in charge, try to get this fixed, don’t allow him to just become more and more depressed each day!

May God bless you!

97yroldmom Mar 2018
Insist that the doctors change his medicine. This one isn’t working. Don’t just stop the meds though. It can be dangerous to do so. And are you sure your father is taking the meds? If you can get him to go for short walks several times a day, it might be more effective than the meds. Start with a very few minutes. Just to sit outdoors a few minutes is a good start and then extend. Also if it is possible consider a different doctor.

vishdubai Mar 2018
Additionally we cross checked with other doctors and they say Prescribed medicine is right, what else we can do to lift his mood as he keep on sleeping a lot?

vishdubai Mar 2018
Hi,

We visit the Doctor regularly she has given combo and medicine. It has been now a year she has put her in Prodep, still father mood is not improving, he do not take interest in activities like reading newspaper going out even for taking bath, as per Doctor it is because of old age, he is 79 years now, I am confuse please advise

jeannegibbs Mar 2018
When did your father most recently see his doctor, vishdubai?

His behavior now could mean his depression treatment is not working. The doctor should make adjustments. Or it could be a sign of some other medical problem.

Either way, the person who can find the answer to your question is a medical professional. Can you convince Father to make an appointment? Would he let you go with him?

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