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sissy1 Asked February 2018

Mom checked herself into memory care. I live out of state. How can I become better informed?

When I call they just say she is “eating well”.

jeannegibbs Feb 2018
You do need to go there. For one thing, take care of all the legal paperwork such as Advance Healthcare Directive, POA, HIIPA release form (allowing medical professionals to share information about Mom with you.) All of these require Mom's signature and some have to be notarized. It will be much easier to manage if you are there.

It will also be valuable to establish a relationship with the Director of Nursing and other care professionals who interact with your mother.

Who advised your mother to go to memory care? If a doctor, it might be good to consult him or her while you are there. In fact, talking to whoever has been helping her make decisions lately would be a good thing.

Go there to get informed about your mother. And then get informed about her medical condition, which you can do from any location. The more you know about dementia (if that is what she has) the easier this becomes.

I am so, so sorry that you are facing this. It is wonderful that Mom is somewhere safe.

Sendhelp Feb 2018
Boots on the ground. Go there.

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terharv Feb 2018
Sissy, you need to set up a Durable Power of Attorney for your mom, otherwise no one will share or is required to share information with you. These forms are available online and for a small fee you can fill them out online, print them and have your mom sign them. You must get them notarized. I keep a copy of this document in my purse at all times. I had consulted with an attorney in the early stages of my mom's dementia and he suggested I take care of this while mom was still able to make decisions. I am glad I listened, otherwise I would have to go through the court system, which would be costly and time consuming. The Durable Power of Attorney is reversible and there is no need for an attorney. I hope this information helps.

freqflyer Feb 2018
Sissy, you may want to visit your Mom, thus have boots on the ground to see for yourself. Everything could be going quite well.

How did Mom check herself into memory care? Was there a relative with her? Doing it on her own sounds like Mom doesn't have major memory issues.  Where was Mom living prior to her move? Just curious.

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