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britwaters Asked February 2018

POA son of a 95 year-old man is trying to take control. How far can he go?

The elderly gentleman is of sound mind but the power of attorney/eldest son seems to be trying to take total control. Changing the address on all his bank accounts so he won't receive a statement, not telling the rest of the family anything even when asked, letting his bills go unpaid....As POA, how far can he go?

hoolyk Feb 2018
At 95, even with sound mind, people can be forgetful, and most commonly are. My mother is 90. When I stopped over recently, she had received a copy of her brokerage account statement which contains the large bulk of her money. It was laying there in the trash, as she thought it was junk mail, I guess. I retrieved it, put in my purse, and took it home with me. I had arranged for the quarterly statements to come to her, both for her bank statements and her brokerage, because initially, she was used to getting bank statements and wanted them. Now, I switched everything to electronic. A couple of reasons. One, identity theft...it is scary to have that information go into the trash. The other reason, a family member recently coming to visit, and left with a big check from her. I don't want everyone accessing her statements and manipulating her. I don't have POA, but I manage all her money and real estate, etc. But I am just saying I can completely understand why having mail come to the house is unwise. My mother also throws other stuff away, that I need to do her taxes. When she pays a bill, she throws everything away.

RebeccaCP Feb 2018
As a legal professional who deals with POAs/Conservatorships for a good part of my work day at a financial services company, and a POA myself to two family members, I echo the previous commenters' response to proceed with caution.

As others have asked, what is your relationship to the gentleman? How do you know bills are going unpaid? What are the terms of the POA as to durability or springing, or disclosure obligations to others?

Yes, there are plenty of examples out in the world of an attorney-in-fact under a POA abusing their position and self-dealing. But there are plenty of us out there that are acting appropriately, and dealing with others who question every decision made or action taken. Plenty of us have POAs where others are insisting the person we are trying to do our best for has capacity and should be able to handle their own affairs, while that simply may not be true.

I think more information about the situation and your relationship to the gentleman is needed.

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BarbBrooklyn Feb 2018
I agree with CM; I'd proceed with caution.

A POA has a duty NOT to divulge financial information about the person they are acting for. While my mom gave all three of us kids the right to make healthcare decisions for her, she gave financial POA to one of my brother's solely, and I never had any idea about how much mom had in they way of funds or income.

I have to say, it was much better that way. While mom wasn't on Medicaid, I had no idea how much was in the estate and assumed that it was very little, so there was never any question that we were making health care decisions based on thoughts of an inheritance.

Countrymouse Feb 2018
I wonder: maybe the bills are going unpaid because they are going to the elderly gentleman's home and not making their way to the POA son?

BB is of course correct: if the gentleman is of sound mind he is free to appoint someone else to act for him. But before you encourage him to do this, I should do a bit more digging to find out what exactly has gone on. It may be a case of teething troubles while the POA son gets to grips with what needs doing.

Is this your own family, or are you a friend or neighbour taking a concerned interest?

BarbBrooklyn Feb 2018
If the elderly gentleman is of sound mind, he can change POA.

How do you know bills go unpaid?

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