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BaileyC Asked October 2017

Son cries poor and gets money from his mother!

My brother has cried poor for most of his adult life and my mother has continually given him financial help. He is now remarried and living in a house that his wife bought - cash, no mortgage. His wife has been out of work for 4 years and he has a low paying job. He has taken about $12,000 out of my mother's accounts over the last 10 months, which she approved, and even set up joint accounts. My mother is 92 and active, not suffering from dementia. My other brother handles her investments and showed me a report on her RRIF withdrawals over the last 21 years. She has withdrawn $336,000 from that account and does not need that money to meet her normal expenses, as her pensions cover them and also gives her $1200/mo discretionary spending money. We have not received any of the $336,000. Maybe wrong forum & stupid question but - is this senior financial abuse?

CTTN55 Oct 2017
To my mind, the money your sister and dependent brother received in bail-outs should be subtracted from their share of the inheritance.

BaileyC Oct 2017
My mother still lives on her own in family home. Both my brothers help her out regularly. I live 250 miles from her. I've gone over her monthly budget with her and her regular monthly pension incomes cover all living expenses, which also includes $600/mo discretionary spending money. Her investment income is paid annually on top of that (Canadian gov't required for RRIF accounts) approximately $12,000/yr (minimum required). Her average withdrawals/yr over the 21 years has been $16,000, although some of the years there have been substantial withdrawals - $24-28K. My other brother is executor and has been designated co-Power of Attorney with our sister, but that is not in effect. The will divides assets equally between us, 4 ways. I think most of the money trickled away month by month, but both my sister and dependent brother received significant bail-outs at times.

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BarbBrooklyn Oct 2017
So, your mom has taken 336K out of her retirement funds over the course of 21 years? Are you sure that's not just a supplement to her retirement that she is spending on living expenses?

CTTN55 Oct 2017
Can you and your other brother find out where that $336,000 has gone? How is the inheritance split between the three of you? Do you think your mother left more to the poor brother?

What kind of care do you provide your mother, and what do your brothers do for her?

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