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ceusteks4 Asked July 2017

What is the best way to deal with a stubborn parent who's in denial that anything is wrong?

For the past 2 years my mother has had several health issues and has seen several doctors and can't seem to find anything wrong. I feel that she may be depressed and unhappy and needs some type of care, but can't figure out what it is. My father cares for my mother, he is getting frustrated and burned out. They have very little income and I believe a lot of debt. I am not sure exactly where to go or what will be the best avenue for my father and our family. My mother lately has been very unpredictable and not sure exactly why? Do you have any suggestions. I live out of state. My parents live in Del Mar currently at a friends house. I would be grateful for some advice on direction. Thank you!

97yroldmom Jul 2017
Your post is rather vague. What are the health issues that she sought treatment for? What is she doing that your father is finding difficult?
If it's depression perhaps a visit with a geriatric psychiatrist or therapist would help. If she's living with friends and having financial problems perhaps she's mourning the loss of her previous life as a homemaker and having more privacy. Just guessing here. Did she lose her home? Has she moved into a new neighborhood? What are your parents plans for their future? Give us more details about her symptoms or actions and we will try to help.
Hopefully when she saw the doctors they did a full physical with blood work. If not I would start there.

jeannegibbs Jul 2017
BarbB is right. We need a little more information to make suggestions. When you say that your father "cares for her" -- what kind of care does she need?

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BarbBrooklyn Jul 2017
Do you mean your parents are living at a friend's house? Why are they living there?

How old are your parents?

Urinary Tract Infections can cause behavioral symptoms in elders. Can your dad get her to a doctor, or to urgent care to check that out?

What kind of doctors have declared they can't find anything amiss? Has she seen anyone about her depression?

What is her ability to do activities of daily living ( ADLs)? Bathing, hygiene, dressing, cooking, etc?

I'm sorry to ask so many questions, but the answers will get you better advice!!

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