Our 79 yo mother recently went down with stage 4 cirhosis and malnutrition. she lives 100 miles from me and my brother, 200 miles from my sister. My sister spent 5-7 days drinking with my mother immediately prior to her collapse. Additionally, my sister is attending court ordered outpatient rehab due to a DUI.
I was the only sibling to respond to mom's collapse. She was in the hospital for 14 days. When she was released she lived with me for 2 months and made a miraculous recovery through nutrition and not drinking. Neither of my siblings had anything to do with her care or communication with the attending physician. I informed my siblings that she cannot drink and do not enable her to have access to it.
My brother just delivered mom to my alcoholic sister's home and now she is drunk again.
6 Answers
Helpful Newest
First Oldest
First
Thank you for the food for thought. I need to get some legal advice. The only way my siblings will stop is if there is a threat of monetary recourse. Likely, an attorney will not find a cause of action that pays. So frustrating to have your work undone.
I definitely will talk to an attorney.
My mother wants to drink. When I was caring for her I simply said "No"
ADVERTISEMENT
It's such an ethical maze. Is your 79 year old mother of sound mind? - how can anyone tell, if she's off her face the whole time? So does she understand the consequences of drinking alcohol? Is it her free and informed choice to consume it? Are your siblings recklessly or negligently causing her to be harmed?
You could spend a lot of money getting professionals to debate these points. But what you want is for your siblings to stop "feeding" her and for your mother to be safe and sober. I don't think you'll achieve either of those by bringing a suit.
It's especially unrealistic to expect your sister to respond to the threat of civil action. She's not only drunk, she's addicted. You could threaten her with beheading and she'd still just plough on regardless.
Your brother - who lives near you or actually with you? - is harder to understand. Is he easily persuaded? Is he sentimental about empty promises - "I just want to see my daughter, I promise I won't drink"? What possessed him to take your mother to your sister's house?
And did your mother's medical team come up with a medium to long-term care plan for her? Who's supposed to be implementing it? (please don't say she is, on her own)
What does your mom want?
However, if your mother is legally competent and wants to be drunk, there really isn't anything that anyone can do. You could apply for guardianship if you believe mom is NOT competent, but that is a very expensive process.