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Sugarbea Asked March 2017

My mother drags her feet when she walks.

My mother is 90 years old. She still drives, goes to exercise, gets around very well. She stays in her own home and is pretty independent. Trying to look out for her, as I thought a daughter should, and not just assuming that because she is 90, that this is something that just happens. I suggested that she see a doctor. I believe in getting all help when needed, to make a happier life. My older, daughter who is a nurse and my younger daughter, who is an occupational therapist, also spoke with her about dragging her feet. She gets angry with us for telling her to pick her feet up and when we suggest that she sees a doctor. She says that I fuss at her. She says that we should be thankful that she can walk. I consider it a great blessing that she is able to walk and get around as well as she does. We thought we were showing love by looking out for her. We don't want her to fall. I tell her that the reason I am concerned about her dragging her feet is that I love her. Am I wrong in telling her to see a doctor. She seems to resent it . It hurts me that she is so angry and lashes out (especially at me) when all we are trying to do is look out for her well being. Has anyone had this issue? I appreciate any words of wisdom. Thank you

Sugarbea Mar 2017
This answer made me laugh, but believe me, I understand and it helps me feel that I am not so mean when I am firm with her Thanks

BarbBrooklyn Mar 2017
Sugar, before my mom had dementia, when she'd do something stupid, (like, assuming that she knew what was best,based on outdated medical treatments), I'd be very rude to her and tell her that she was too smart to do something so stupid.

I wasn't nice at all. It got her attention.

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Sugarbea Mar 2017
Thank you for your answers. Barbbrooklin I have been told that she lashes out at those she is closest to, but it hurts especially when I'm just trying to look out for her and help her have a pleasant life. I also looked up NPH and she does have lots of the symptoms Thanks so much

BarbBrooklyn Mar 2017
You might also look up Normal Pressure Hydrocephalus. It should be ruled out as a factor in your mom's gait changes. The symptoms are often mistaken for dementia, but NPH is treatable and should not be ignored.

BarbBrooklyn Mar 2017
Your mom is scared of what she will be told if she sees a doctor. She lashes out at those she is closest to.

In your shoes, I would fax or email her doctor a note, outlining your concern about her walking, and her refusal to make an appointment.

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